


The Pull

by untilmynextstory



Series: Almost Is Never Enough [1]
Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Complicated Relationships, F/M, Love, Motorcycles, Pregnancy, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2018-10-17 01:04:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10583196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untilmynextstory/pseuds/untilmynextstory
Summary: The outlaw life is never easy, but for Jax it is. He never thought about the choice and consequences of his lifestyle not until Cheyenne Henderson came back to Charming.





	1. Take Me Back To The Start

Jax hisses as the palm of his hand catches onto one of his mom's thorny rose bushes. He has half the nerve to kick the stupid thing, but he knows his mom loves her gardens and right now the last thing he wants is to upset her or give away that he has snuck out for another night.

However, he isn't under any illusion that his mom doesn't know about his midnight visits to Tara like he chooses to ignore Clay's constant presence since the two weeks his died passed away. He loves Clay, but right now he finds his presence overbearing. To a point it's suffocating, but his mom seems to appreciate him helping the transition that is going on with the family and club. Besides it wasn't as if Clay was the only patched member or family friend that had taken vigil in his home.

Jax leaps down from the fence while shaking his stinging hand. He has plans to crawl back through his window to his room when he freezes at the hunch figure on his back patio. For a moment he thinks it's his mother, who is probably going to tear him a new asshole for sneaking out to Tara's knowing there is a war with the Mayans. Listen to her rattle about how stupid he is making himself over some pussy. And he would let her knowing his mother is grieving for his father and still over his baby brother. He knows some wounds will never heal and Thomas' death is still raw for all of them.

Though, this figure doesn't possess the dominating presence his mother has. Besides, this person is crying, he can tell by the shake of the shoulders.

Jax then feels like a shitty friend.

He wasn't the only person who has lost something in the past two weeks.

Jax hesitating takes a step forward, his boots crush some dead leaves, and it's enough sound for him to be noticed.

He watches as Cheyenne hurriedly begins trying to wipe away her tears.

A week after his father died, her dad, Lionel, the best mechanic Teller Morrow had after Clay, had split with no warning. Her mom, Cheryl, overdosed on crank a few days later and was now in sedated detox.

Despite his mom grieving for his father, it didn't stop her from performing her duties as an Old Lady as she quickly had Cheyenne and her older brother, Phillip, over at their house to stay until they figured out what to do permanently.

"You probably think I'm stupid for crying over a junkie," she mutters breaking the silence.

Jax shakes his head and moves and takes a seat next to her on the steps of the patio. "No, at the end of the day, she's still your mother. Lionel's still your dad."

She takes a shaky breath at the mention of her father. Jax almost feels guilty as everyone has been on shaky ground with her when it came to her dad. There was no denying she was a daddy's girl and how much Lionel loved his daughter despite the problems that plagued the Henderson household. Jax could say it was the one thing he didn't understand about Lionel's disappearance. Jax knew Lionel would never just up and leave Phillip and Cheyenne, especially her. Junkie or not, Lionel was a father who loved his kids fiercely and would've least left a note. Just something for his little girl and if he was going to split, he wouldn't promise to take her to her soccer game the next weekend. He thinks for a girl at 12 years old, she has already seen too much suffering and pain their world brings.

"Your mom knows you're gone." She informs him.

"Figures," Jax snorts. Nothing can get past Gemma. At least he won't face the Spanish Inquisition now. Jax knows once the grief ebbs away into acceptance that he will need to be careful for a while. His mom never forgets anything and will surely use this against him if he pisses her off too much.

"Where's Lip?" Jax asks as he looks back into his dark house.

Now Cheyenne snorts. "He's with Nina, of course."

Jax chuckles at that. People thought him and Tara were crazy and wild. They obviously haven't been paying attention to Lip and Nina. Jax was sure he had never seen any two people so in lust with each other. He had already warned Lip at the rate him and Nina were going that she was wound to get pregnant. A baby was the last thing anyone in the Henderson family needed.

"How's Tara?" She asks.

With anyone else, Jax wouldn't be bothered to answer as he knows most around here, his mother and Clay, only ask questions to be polite and nosey as it's an open secret his mom doesn't care for his girlfriend. Yet with Cheyenne, he knows she generally cares about him and the people in his life. There's this part of him that thinks even at 15, he doesn't deserve this from Cheyenne.

"She's good. We're good." He tells her with a wide smile as he thinks back at how exactly good they are.

Cheyenne smiles at him oblivious to his hormonal thoughts. "At least you have someone."

Thoughts of Tara leave his mind as he looks back down at his young friend.

He knows that Cheyenne doesn't have many friends. Most of the time he finds her buried in a book, helping his mom cooking, or taking care of her mother. Sure she has Lip, but now with him and Nina being hot and heavy, he isn't the attentive brother he used to be. Jax frowns as he thinks about this. He brings his arm around her shoulder.

"Hey, you have me." He tells her because it's true. He knows no matter what happens tomorrow or years from now, she'll always have him.

Cheyenne nods her head, but then she crinkles her nose. "Are you bleeding?"

Jax pulls his arm back and shows her his hand. "Scraped it on a thorn."

"Ugh, come on." She tells him as she stands up.

Jax can't help but laugh as he knows she has aspirations to be nurse one day. "You know you should just become a doctor, Chey."

"I think a nurse would do just fine." She informs him as she opens his mom's sliding door beckoning him to go through.

Jax thinks with her here at his house it doesn't feel so heavy.

**. . .**

It's been a few years since John Teller's death, her father's disappearance, and her mom's overdose. After her mom's last overdose, she was shipped off to SAMCRO rehab and it seemed that it was sticking. Yet, despite her mom's sobriety, Cheyenne still finds herself always by Gemma's side either at Teller Morrow or her house. After all, she and Lip do have a room at the now Teller Morrow residence. Like now and most days, Cheyenne is sitting at one of the picnic benches as she does her homework. Yet, she finds herself stuck on a math problem, looking around the lot, she finds most of the guys occupied in the garage and as she scans the lot she finds Jax's bike at the end recently embellished due to him completing his year as a Prospect.

Despite dropping out of school, Jax was still an intelligent man.

Grabbing her supplies, she makes her way into the clubhouse and as usual ignores the putrid smell of booze, smoke, leather, and sex. The place is empty outside of Piney snoozing at the bar with Kyle Hobart flirting with some croweater.

She makes the trek back to Jax's dorm room that is at the end of the hall. She knocks the door lightly and doesn't receive a response. She frowns and she suspects he might be sleeping as she knows Lip got home late last night and usually Lip and Jax are always on the same rotation for things.

She goes to walk away when she hears the toilet flush. She knocks again, but this time she opens the door. She finds his bed empty and walks further into the room and calls out his name. This time she hears the unmistakable sounds of retching. Cheyenne throws her stuff onto the bed and with his bathroom door already creaked open, she finds him bent over the rim of the porcelain toilet.

"Jax?"

He jumps startled at her voice and his bleary eyes connect to hers. They harden instantly. Cheyenne begins to regret walking into his room. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard you throwing up," she explains. She steps forward and goes to put a hand on his forehead, "Are you okay?" Instead of an answer he slaps away her hand startling them both.

Cheyenne feels almost betrayed. Even with his father's death, his nasty breakup with Tara, and now experiencing the stress of the club as a full patch with his father's legacy trailing after him like a bad smell, Jax has never once let his anger or frustration out on her. Cheyenne could say she was the only one who hadn't been on the receiving end of his anger.

Cheyenne can't hide the hurt from her face as she backs up away from him.

Jax instantly feels like shit more than he already does.

"Chey…wait," he calls out to her when she is halfway back into his dorm room. Despite his still queasy stomach he moves off the cold tiled floor of his bathroom and to his bed. He sits on the edge and peaks over to find her math book there. He feels even more like shit. He rubs his hands down his face and looks back up at her. At 15, Cheyenne still possessed a youthful glow with her wild black hair and grey eyes. However as he trailed her in a simple Charming High t-shirt and jean shorts paired with red Converses, he could see that pretty soon puberty was about to catch up with her turning her into a woman. Soon she wouldn't be hanging around the lot like a grease monkey or asking him for help with her homework.

He pats the spot next to him and she cautiously takes a seat. "I shouldn't have done that."

She nods her head. "Rough night?" She asks and her shoes kick at the white soiled shirt on the ground stained in red. He fights the bile that threatens to claw up his throat. He doesn't understand why he is so damn emotional about what happened. Lip didn't seem all that bothered by what they did. He seemed to just shrug it off and said goodbye before checking on Cheyenne and presumably spend his morning buried deep in Nina.

Jax on the other hand couldn't keep food or drink down. He felt repulsed by the croweaters and had a fitful sleep.

And now here was Cheyenne looking at him with so much concern. She was so innocent in all this. Sometimes he hoped that she would one day leave Charming and make a life outside of this. Even though he hated Tara for doing that to him, he could say he couldn't blame her for not wanting to become his mother.

He looks at her with his tortured blue eyes and shakes his head. Maybe he needs to get laid.

"Jax?"

"I killed a man last night," he lets slip pass his lips. And he knows he shouldn't burden a 15 year old with that type of knowledge, but if there is anyone he could tell it would be her. He doesn't want to go to his mom and have her extreme coddling and he feels he can't share this with Opie or Lip.

She doesn't say anything. Her eyes or face don't give away anything. Instead, she grabs his hand. The same hand that held a gun and pulled a trigger.

A week later, it's Christmas. They're throwing the usual party at his mom's house. It's the family orientated dinner. It's just family and friends – no hangarounds or croweaters. Jax is throwing back some Eggnog as he talks to Opie, who has Donna snug in his side, and Lip and Nina are nowhere to be found, which means Nina is likely somewhere on her back.

Cheyenne comes up by his side and tugs on the sleeve of his sweater. She's all dolled up in a long-sleeved red velvet shirt that shows a sliver of her toned stomach and in a white poufy skirt. She looks older than her 15 years and Jax thinks that's dangerous. Yet, he lets her steal him away for whatever she wants to show him and she leads him back to her room at his mom's.

"So I just wanted to give this to you now away from prying eyes." She tells him as she holds up a small silver box. They had already exchanged gifts this morning with her giving him some riding gear. He got her some books and albums he knew she would like. So now he is genuinely curious as she seems nervous.

"Must be something special," he says as he begins to unwrap it.

Cheyenne shrugs her shoulders.

He takes out the small box and wiggles it. He guesses its jewelry.

He risks a glance at Cheyenne and she is nibbling on her lip. "Chey, whatever it is. I'm sure I'm going to love it." He assures her.

He throws the wrapper in her garbage and opens the lid to the box.

Inside rests the silver shell of an AK 47 bullet on a chain.

He takes the necklace out and it dangles from his fingers. He knows the significance behind this gift.

"Do you like it?"

He nods his head. "I love it, Chey." He tells her as he puts it around his neck.

She's still unsure as she gives him a small smile. He brings her into a tight hug.

"Thanks, Chey."

. . .

After completing a 6 month stint in Chino, Jax is doing the one thing he has wished to do since he became a temporary residence to Chino's Correctional Facility, which was to ride his bike.

Considering it was a Tuesday, his official welcoming home party wasn't happening until Friday night after church. Considering club business was slow, he found himself with some free time to just ride around Charming and other friendly areas.

He was driving back to Charming to hit up Main Street to grab some lunch. He was a block away from Main when he found the one person he didn't expect to be out and about at this time considering they should be at school. He slows down and pulls up besides Cheyenne Henderson, now 16 years old and a force to be reckoned with in school as she becomes more mature. Considering Chino was a 6 hour drive, he only saw Cheyenne once a month as she become busier with school and after school activities. So it was a shock to his system to see such a studious girl cutting class.

At first she just glances at him just thinking he is nobody before she does a double take and realizes it's him. Her eyes become bright and she smiles wide at him.

"You're out!" She exclaims as she rushes up to him and gives him a hug.

"Yeah," he tells her and for old time sake he ruffles with her long black hair, which annoys her as she slaps away his hand.

"Hey, stop that." She scolds as she fixes her hair that she perfectly styled. He remembers when she used to just wear ponytails with no thought or care into her appearance.

"Why you cutting class?" He asks her bluntly.

At his question, her face drops and she looks away. She doesn't seem keen on answering. "Chey?"

"It's nothing, Jax." She tries to deflect.

"If it was nothing, I'm pretty sure you would've called my mom to sign you out." He says. After her mom got cleaned, she bailed to Seattle with no thought to her kids. From what his mom said, the woman barely even writes to them. His eyes narrow, "Is it some boy?"

"What! No!" She tells him and as she crosses her arms across her chest. It's only then he gets sight of her red hand.

He snatches her hand and looks at the red and irritated knuckles. "You're getting into fights now?" He say with a frown as this was out of character for her.

"I'm not starting them," she says defending herself.

"So how are they starting?" Jax asks and he knows this has been going on for a while. When he sees Lip he is going to have a nice chat with her brother for not being aware of what's going on with his sister.

"It's just the girls. I try to ignore them, but they just say stuff."

"Like what?"

"About my parents, the club, or how I'm sleeping around with all of you guys." She informs him, but then she smiles. "It's kind of ironic as they call me a whore, but then make fun of me for not having a boyfriend."

"You shouldn't let them get to you."

"I try not to, but it's hard Jax." She tells him. "They're all so pretty and have their boyfriends…and all I have are books."

"That's bullshit, Chey, and you know it." Jax was going to tell her she didn't need to be messing around with hormonal teenage boys anyway. But Jax had no idea what it was like to be a teenage girl and he didn't think it would conductive to this argument.

"Is it, Jax? No one at school seems to notice me and I've never even kissed a boy before." She whispers scandalized and a bit embarrassed.

Jax looks at her and thinks the boys at her school are idiots. Cheyenne was smart, beautiful, and clearly going places with her life.

He also knew that some of the boys that did have interest only got blocked because of Lip and sometimes him and Opie, but he wasn't going to admit that. As he looked at her, with her full lips, curly hair, and grey eyes, he saw the face of a woman. She wasn't the 12 year old girl that he found crying on his steps.

Without thinking, he pulls her closer to him. She's about to turn 17 and he's only 19 on the cusp of 20. So he doesn't feel too much like a Chester besides it will only be a kiss.

She looks at him with a raised eyebrow, "Jax what are you doing?"

He doesn't say anything, but brings her in front of him. Her body almost flushed against his and begins to lean his head down.

"Jax –"

"Shh," he says as his hands cup her cheeks. She smells like Vanilla and Raspberry. And he thinks he might be making a huge mistake. He knows he is, but it doesn't stop him from meeting her lips.

She doesn't respond immediately. Her lips are frozen, but he wins her over when she presses more into his body. The kiss is soft and innocent. Something he hasn't had in god who knows how many years. He doesn't understand how something this simple and sweet could be intoxicating. He knows he should pull back and keep things between them easy and simple.

But he can't help but deepen the kiss, which she lets him, as his tongue dances with her. He almost doesn't care that they're in public on a street where anyone can see.

Her hands slide past his shoulders into his hair as she settles more into him. It isn't until she moans against his mouth that he remembers the last time he had physical contact was six months ago. He knows if things continue this way, reservation and consequences be damned, it could lead to trouble for both of them.

Pulling back he looks into her eyes that are the silver he sees in the moonlight. Nothing is said between them. He only hands her his helmet and she sits on the back of his bike.

. . .

Jax has hit a sort of epiphany as he nears his 21st birthday. He knows the name Teller holds a lot of weight in his world and recently he knows he hasn't been doing his dad justice. However, at the same time he is more than just his father's son. He also knows that he is still trying to recover from the very public break up he had with Tara almost two years ago now. He knows he wants to be something other than a legacy.

So he began throwing himself into the club. Going on as a many runs as possible and really spend some time with Clay as his President than stepfather. He really was trying to learn the club business.

He also tries to tell himself that he wasn't throwing himself into Club business because of what transpired between him and Cheyenne. They both hadn't spoken of that moment and she seemed fine with it, but he wasn't. Now he had guilt for pulling away from their friendship. With her now nearing 18, he only had a year before she left for college and soon she would move on from Charming and him.

His mom was out shopping with Luann; Clay was at the clubhouse, so he knew the house would be empty except for Cheyenne. He pulls into the driveway and enters the home as he twirls his keys around his finger and eyes the place. Sometimes he misses the cleanliness of his mom's house since he moved into the dorms. He walks into the dining room where he finds presumably Cheyenne's bag out in the open. He doesn't mean to snoop, but he peaks over into it and his heart jumps into his throat as he spies familiar looking foil packages. His head snaps up as he hears padding down the hallway.

Coming into his view, he finds Cheyenne coming down wearing a very short  _short_  skirt with a black and white long sleeve shirt tucked into it. His eyes droop low to the thigh high socks that go past her knees.

His eyebrows furrow, "Where are you going?"

Cheyenne plants her hands on her hips, a pair of heels in her left hand. "Hi, it's nice to see you too."

She sits down at the table and begins putting on her heels.

"You going somewhere?" He questions as he eyes the back of her head and tries to recall when he has ever seen her in anything other than Converses. He knows this outfit is courtesy of his mother and Luann.

"Actually, I am." She tells him.

"Where?"

She rolls her eyes at his tone. "Is that any of  _your_  business?"

"You should make it  _my_  business." He counters back.

Cheyenne is visibly taken back by this response as she leans back in her chair. She opens her mouth to respond, but the doorbell rings. Jax beelines it to the door.

"Jax!" He hears squealed from behind him as she tries to race him to the door. But he beats her.

Opening it, he finds a boy on the other side dressed up nice with flowers in his hand. Brown curly hair and in Jax's conclusion looks a bit like a nerd, but he can see the muscles outlined. Jax can tell the boy knows who he is, but Jax doesn't like the fact he doesn't know who he is.

"Who are you?" He asks menacingly as he stands taller.

Before the kid can answer, Jax finds himself being pushed out of the way by Cheyenne. She shots him an annoyed look before she turns and smiles at the boy and graciously accepts the flowers.

She turns back at him and forces a fake smile in his direction, "Jax, this is Mason. Mason, this is Jax."

"That still doesn't explain who he is." Jax bites out.

"Mason, do you mind waiting in the car. I'm going to put these in a vase and grab my purse and I'll be right out."

"Sure," the boy agrees without argument. Cheyenne pushes him out of the way and Jax glares at the boy before shutting the door.

"God, what is your problem, Jax." Cheyenne mutters.

"Who is he?" Jax asks before he takes one last look at the boy through the blinds.

"Like you couldn't tell. He's my boyfriend." She informs as she grabs one of his mom's vases and fills it with water.

"Boyfriend?" Now that was fucking news to him. "Since when?"

"For a few months now."

Jax's brows furrows as no one informed him of this news. "Does my mom know?"

"Yes, Jax, everyone knows." She tells him pointedly.

This news doesn't settle well in his gut and he doesn't know why he feels a jealous heat settle into his bones. "Everyone know you're fucking him?"

Cheyenne's mouth drops open at his question. She looks down at her bag and snatches it quickly. She doesn't even give him a response as she leaves the house.

. . .

They're on the edge of the Wahewa land.

It's August, it's hot and sticky, and Cheyenne's arms ache.

However, Jax insisted they brush up on her skills before she left Charming where she would be without SAMCRO.

They had been out here an hour as she shot with Jax's Glock. It was a painful reminder of the life she grew up in and how Jax and her brother made a living.

"You keep locking your arms," Jax tells her from the side where he watches her.

Cheyenne didn't think she was terrible. In fact, she thinks she is decent, but after an hour she is beginning to feel tired. He walks over to her and stands behind her. His arms come around hers to steady them; she didn't realize she was trembling either.

"Breathe," he says into her ear, his breath fanning across her neck. The closeness makes her shiver. "Visualize your target and look through your sight," he instructs. "Breathe. Inhale. Fire. Exhale." This time she hits the target dead center. "See you got it."

Cheyenne turns her head and looks at him and she realizes they haven't been this close since their kiss. She moves back from him. "Yeah. only because of you."

"I can't take all the credit." He tells her with a smile as she hands him back his gun.

"Well I'm hungry let's eat."

To eat they walk down to the stream where it's a little bit cooler and enjoy their simple lunch of a sandwich and chips. However, Cheyenne knows she shouldn't be surprised when Jax pulls out a bottle of Jack.

"You know that you do have to drive back later." She informs him pointedly.

"I need one last drink with my drinking partner." He says as he opens it and takes a generous swing.

Cheyenne rolls her eyes, but takes a sip of the burning liquid.

They toss the bottle back and forth talking about old times from when he still had to go trick or treating with her. They remembered when Gemma forced him, Opie, and Lip to sit still for her to paint their nails and do their makeup, and all the innocence moments of childhood. Soon the memories of sticky fingers and cheesy photos turn serious as it leads to the present. Her parents both gone, Opie and Donna now married with a baby on the way, and now her own brother has knocked up his on and off girlfriend. It seems they are the only two not attached to anybody.

"I'm scared to leave him now that he is becoming a father." She admits to Jax. She knows her brother is going to be a great dad, but he and Nina are not exactly ever in a good place for a child to be brought into.

"I'll look out for them plus my mom won't let him fuck up." Jax promises.

"Yeah, but even with Nina's problems she's family now too. I just hope your mom doesn't go to crazy on her."

Jax snorts. Lip and Cheyenne were practically like a son and daughter to his mom and she treated Nina the same way she did Tara. He thought there was nothing Nina could do to ever get in his mom's good graces.

Jax takes a swing of the depleting bottle. "You be careful down there too. Especially when it comes to guys."

"Jax –"

"I'm serious." He says. He knows her break up with Mason wasn't exactly smooth due to other kids and just because she still felt the sting of that didn't mean a guy wouldn't enter the picture eventually.

"I don't think…Boys aren't even on my radar. Nursing school is going to be hard."

"I'm just saying be careful is all." He tells her with something that is anything but brotherly concern.

"Or what you're going to have Juice put a tracking device on me?" She teases.

"Don't tempt me."

She laughs loudly and god he thinks she is beautiful. Now, she's leaving and he didn't expect it to hurt so fucking much. His eyes trail to those lips and he wonders if they are still soft as he remembers. And as she laughs her eyes twinkle, not grey, but silver, he can't help but lean in and before she knows it, he presses his lips urgently against hers in a hot kiss.

It escalates quickly and Cheyenne finds herself being pushed onto the soft grass. His hand traces the flat of her stomach as they dip near her ribs and the underwire of her bra.

They both know they should stop and pull back from whatever line they are crossing.

He separates their lips and there's the question in his eyes and statements that neither of them will never admit. At least not now or possibly ever. They would weigh too much with her departure in a few weeks.

Instead, she lets him pull up her tank over her bra and fondle her breasts as she tangles her fingers into his hair. He yanks off her top completely and the blood rushes into his ears as her hands sneak between them and down into his pants where she tugs him rigid. Jax makes quick work of removing her shorts and shoes leaving her just in simple peach color classic lace floral thong.

Jax leans back and admires the simple get up. He's always used to seeing girls in dark colors reds and black. But Cheyenne usually sticks to cool colors, blues and grays with the occasional white. Cheyenne tucks her hand in the band of his boxers and pulls them down to his knees, and he makes quick work of removing them completely along with his shirt.

Cheyenne's heart beat goes rapid at the sight of Jax completely bare to her. Growing up around the club and despite being close to Jax, she has been exposed to and heard many things about him. Seeing it in person is a completely different experience.

She is quick to remove her bra as he pulls her panties down her thighs and discards them like the rest of their clothing. He eases her thighs open, smearing his slick manhood against her. She moans, as he presses inside her, the sting of him stretching her is an delicious pain as it makes her feel full. "Please, Jax," she groans against his skin.

"Please what darlin'?" He asks in a low octave. "What do you need?"

"I need you to fuck me."

He does.

...

Jax is laying on his back while Cheyenne is on her side with her eyes closed. With her skin clammy, Cheyenne knows she should make the move to clean the mess between her thighs. Her legs feel like jelly though and she doesn't want to ruin this moment of whatever this is and what just happened.

She hears Jax shift and his fingers come to the tips of her hair.

"I'll miss you." He admits to her.

Her eyes spring open and connect to his blue ones.

"I'll miss you too."


	2. Graduation

**PART 1: REVELATIONS**

"When you came back it was like some sort of sign to me."

* * *

 

_May 2008_

9 years later, Cheyenne is back to her childhood hometown. Despite everyone's thoughts, a part of her knew that she would return to Charming.

She smiles at her brother, who is talking a mile a minute, and can't contain his excitement about her returning home.

Lip, now 30 years old, was a total different man than the one she left when she was 18. The 9 years she was gone hadn't been easy on her brother.

With Nina's pregnancy, it resulted in Lip also marrying her. The two of them found themselves parents to her niece, Isla Marie Henderson. Cheyenne always worried about the toxicity of the relationship, but her concern grew with a baby added in the mix. Except fatherhood had changed her brother for the better. After five years of failed tries of sobriety, Lip had finally separated himself from his wife and became a full time father.

Yet even five years of separation and living in a different house, it seemed that it still wasn't enough for Lip to take the final move in officially filing for divorce.

She knows it's because despite Nina's addiction and empty guilt ridden promises, he loves her. She is the mother of his child.

But she knows that his love her his daughter and her happiness means more to him than anything. Plus despite Isla growing up with a flaky mother, her now 9 year old niece was one of the brightest girls in Charming. Lip tells her all the time how his daughter was just like her as he shuffles her back from school, gymnastics, and dance recitals.

Cheyenne still laughs thinking about SAMCRO attending all of Isla's events. She knows her niece has the club wrapped around her fingers.

It's why Cheyenne is sort of glad that she will be living with her brother until she is more settled. Even with constant phone calls, messaging, and holiday visits, she feels as if she doesn't really know her niece. She feels as if she hasn't really been there for her and she hopes with being back in Charming she can really be an aunt.

Carrying one of the few boxes of her possessions, she places it down on the bed in her new, but old room. "I can't believe you bought this place."

With his relationship with Nina constantly in the shitter, Lip couldn't resist the urge in buying their old childhood home. The place their mom and dad had when they were kids. Cheyenne wasn't under any delusions about her parents. Her mom and father were both junkies, but she knew they were loved in some warped way. Cheyenne knew her father loved her. And there were 12 years of happy and good memories along with the bad.

"It seemed fitting." He tells her.

Cheyenne smiles at her brother. Big and muscular with tattoos covering his arms that peak out from his short sleeve. Lip was an imposing figure. It wasn't surprising the club took advantage of his size and physique for underground fights.

"You sure moving back to Charming is the best thing for your career?" Lip asks her for the first time since she told him she was coming back.

"Sounds like you don't want me here."

"No, I just don't want you to feel as if you're tied down to this place."

"I missed my family besides if I didn't want to be back here I wouldn't. Plus I know you're going to need help with Isla." She says.

"She's a perfect little angel." He says. "Don't know where she gets it from." He says and that proud smile dims just a little.

"How's Nina?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "Same as always. She lost her job like 6 months ago, so I've been paying for that on top of her living expenses. I think divorce is the only option now."

"I'm sorry, Lip."

"Don't be. I can say I tried and I really did love her. She's the one who fucked it all up. I can't forgive her for doing this to Isla. Sometimes it makes me hate mom and dad even more."

"Have you talked to our mother?" Cheyenne asks.

Lip shakes her head. "Not since she got remarried. It's funny she was able to build this whole life for herself, but didn't give a shit about us."

"Maybe because we remind her of dad."

"You would think that would be why she would've loved us."

Cheyenne shakes her head as she thinks about her mom. She was glad she was clean for ten years now. It was an accomplishment. She didn't like how with this sobriety her mom forgot about her own two kids. But she has become used to the absence of her mother since she was 12. It's not like she is exactly missed. Besides when her mother bailed on them, Gemma stepped up to take her place.

"How's the club?"

"Same old, same old." He tells her. "They are excited for the party."

"They are excited by any excuse for a party."

Lip laughs. "Maybe."

...

A couple hours later, Cheyenne finds herself standing in front of a mirror in jeans that are two sizes to small and a cropped red shirt. It's the most scandalous thing she has worn in a while. She's only wearing it because of Fawn Trager practically forcing it on her.

Despite a couple hundred miles between them, Fawn Trager was still her best friend and probably her only friend. Both raised by the club, yet Fawn was more open with her distaste of it especially to her father. Yet, the brunette never made plans to leave Charming.

However, Cheyenne thinks it has to do more so with her brother in why Fawn sticks around. With her gone at school and Nina either in rehab or passed out in her own vomit, Fawn had easily stepped in to help Lip manage being a single father.

It started with going clothes shopping, taking Isla to her dance practices, homework, and the occasional dinner nights. Somehow, she knows it morphed into more, which neither of them had admitted to her. Yet, she could just tell.

"I'm so happy your back. Although I don't know why you came back to this shithole."

Cheyenne rolls her eyes. "I don't think me being here is going to change anything. I'm a working woman now after all."

"Still…I missed you." Fawn admits.

Cheyenne turns and looks at her friend. "Fawn, if you're so unhappy here, why don't you leave."

"Because it's home." Fawn stands up and places her hands on her shoulders. "So no man down in San Diego?"

"Unless we're talking about my patients, no."

"At all? I thought doctors had a thing for nurses. I mean I'm pretty sure a little male nurse would have loved to tap your ass."

"Oh my god," Cheyenne says as she groans.

"Well, I know for sure there is one person excited to see you."

"Yeah, who?" Cheyenne asks curious.

"A certain VP."

Cheyenne freezes at the mention of Jax. Since that day on the Wahewa land their interactions have been sparse and when she would be home club business interfered and she found most of her days taken up with Isla.

"You're being ridiculous," she tells her friend.

"Am I though? " Fawn asks.

Despite being best friends and sharing everything together, Cheyenne's interactions with Jax were something she kept close to her chest. They were something just between him and her.

The conversation is interrupted however when she hears the front door to the house open and a loud exclamation of Aunt Cheyenne.

Cheyenne walks into the hallway and Isla is already running down the hallway ready to greet her with a tight hug.

"Oh my god, you are getting so tall." Cheyenne gushes.

Isla looks at her with a wide smile, "I'm so glad your back."

Cheyenne hugs her niece tightly. Now 9 years old, she could tell her niece was going to be a beautiful woman. Tall with long brown hair and green eyes and as she admired her it was obvious that the little girl looked like her mother. She wondered how Lip was able to handle that. At least, it seemed to be the only thing Isla inherited from Nina.

"I'm glad to be back too. I promise tomorrow that we will have the whole day to ourselves." She promises her. "You can show me some of that cool gymnastic stuff and some dance moves."

Isla smiles brightly at her and gives her another hug.

...

As Cheyenne gets closer to the clubhouse, she finds herself becoming incredibly nervous. Outside of her holiday break visits, she really hasn't been around the club in 9 years. She was now 27 years old and wasn't the same teenager girl that left.

Growing up around the club, she never really thought about the life she was surrounded in. She never really thought about the consequences of her family being outlaw bikers. Leaving Charming and living somewhere new, she didn't realize how isolated Charming was because of the club. She didn't think it was necessarily a bad thing, but it was jarring for her first semester to see how she was raised so differently than her peers.

She knows coming back to burner cells and gossip is going to be something she is going to have to get used to. As she nears the lot, she can hear the music and pulling into the lot, Gemma didn't waste the opportunity in decorating the lot. She pulls into lot and finds a spot that is already designated for her car. Lip and Fawn pull in behind her.

Taking a deep breath she exits her car to the shout and cheers of the club. Gemma and Luann are the first ones to greet her.

She is wrapped in a warm embrace by Gemma and she didn't realize how much she missed her until right now. "Welcome home, sweetheart."

Cheyenne smiles and soon finds Luann wanting her attention. Unlike Gemma's reserved demeanor, Luann is warm and bubbly.

Soon she finds herself on the receiving end of many hugs and kisses on the cheek by leather clad bikers until she reaches the last one: the Vice President of the Sons of Anarchy.

He hasn't changed much, but at the same time he has.

His hair was longer and of course the patches on his chest were different. Yet those blue eyes were the same along with his infamous smile.

Her arms wrap around him easily and she thinks this is the coolest they been since Wahewa.

Jax returns her hug tightly.

She's no longer the 18 year old girl he remembers or even the girl that came back on breaks. He thinks it's been at least a year since they last saw each other. As the years passed by, he became more invested in the club and once he became Vice President, his time was consumed by bigger responsibilities other patches didn't have. Outside of quick hugs and holiday and birthday cards, in 9 years there was hardly any interaction. He inhales and he smiles as she still smells like vanilla and raspberries. His hold tightens on her for a fraction before he loosens his grip. She rewards him with a smile before Lip whisks her away and shows her off.

...

Jax watches from a picnic bench as Cheyenne plays the polite social butterfly. It's a role he isn't used to seeing from her as she would always stick to the background. He was used to her just sticking near Opie and Donna and sometimes him before he became distracted by his flavor of the week.

He knows most thought she wasn't going to come back to Charming. As Lip regaled the guys about how she was doing in school and her internships, he thought she would stay down in San Diego or go somewhere where her skills and knowledge could take her. He feels being in Charming working at St. Thomas would only stifle her.

Yet, he knows people like Lip and his mom is happy to have her back. He knows Lip missed her the most. Jax thinks it's the guilt from feeling like he wasn't the world's best brother. He knows his mom just missed having someone around that wasn't as bubbly as Luann and air headed like the croweaters. It wasn't as if Donna or Fawn went out of their way to hang out with her.

Speaking of the devil spawn, he watches as Fawn creeps her way over to him. For someone who hates Charming, Fawn still hasn't left the place. Despite Cheyenne's homecoming, he is surprised Tig's oldest daughter is even on the lot with her father standing a few feet away. He doesn't understand how Tig won't even try to break some ground with his daughter. Instead, he just lets the girl stew in her bitterness about this lifestyle. Jax thinks Fawn hates her father as much as she loves him. That's why she is still in Charming even if she won't admit it to herself. But Jax wasn't about to give himself a headache thinking about the Trager drama as the black haired devil spawn flashes him a predatory smile.

"Told you she would be different." She whispers as she moves to sit next to him and looks in his line of sight.

Cheyenne is in a deep conversation with Juice and Jax thinks their Technical advisor is an idiot. The man can't even keep his eyes above Cheyenne's neckline. Jax isn't going to act like he is some man of virtue as the 9 years away from Charming has done Cheyenne some good. She's now a woman with curves that he doesn't remember when she was 18. Her tight jeans and cropped red shirt accentuates this fact nicely. However, he isn't going to be so obvious in his appraisal like Juice is.

Instead, he turns back to Fawn, who is only smirking at him. "Why are you over here? Isn't Lip waiting for you in a dark corner?"

Fawn ignores the dig of the open secret about her and Lip as she rolls her eyes. "I think I should be asking you the same thing as why you're sitting here when you clearly want to be over there."

Jax clenches his jaw and he wonders why Fawn is even pestering him and where did she even get these suspicions about him and Cheyenne.

He tries to think if he has acted any differently since the news was confirmed about her impending return, but he knows he hasn't.

"What do you want Fawn?"

She shrugs her shoulders innocently and turns back to the scene of Juice and Cheyenne talking by the bar they put outside.

"I think Juice is taken with Cheyenne."

Jax growls and gets up from his place on the picnic bench and walks towards Cheyenne and Juice. He ignores Fawn's cackling in the background.

He makes it to the bar and quickly shoos away a croweater. Jax almost rolls his eyes at the goofy smile that Juice shoots Cheyenne's way. Jax leans against the bar silent as Juice listens to Cheyenne talk about her schooling. He knows Juice isn't a prospect, but he revels in how his eyes go back and forth from him to Cheyenne as it slowly dawns on him that Jax wishes to speak to Cheyenne privately.

Juice excuses himself and Cheyenne turns around and shakes her head at him. "I see you haven't changed at all."

Jax flashes a smile. "I have no idea what you mean by that."

She shoots him a look clearly remembering his attitude towards Mason before a reluctant smile takes over her face.

Jax turns his front to the bar and moves closer to Cheyenne. He isn't surprised to discover that 9 years apart she still is a tiny little thing.

"So are you enjoying the party?" He asks her.

She nods her head. "Actually I am, but things are different now."

"Good different?"

She shrugs her shoulders. "Home is home, right?" Jax nods at her statement. "How's Donna?"

Jax sighs at the thought of Opie's very angry wife. Thankfully Opie was soon about to finish he last few months of his five year sentence. He knew the most challenging part for Opie will be the coming home and reintegrating back to society.

"I invited her, but she has iced everyone out. I wouldn't take it personal."

"Must be hard for her though, five years is a long time with two kids."

"At least he's coming home."

"To an angry wife," Cheyenne points out.

"I can think of some worse things to go home to. So I hear you're now Dr. Henderson. Nursing school didn't work out for ya?"

"Nursing was just too easy. Had to make it hard for myself."

"OBGYN, right?"

"That's the plan. I'm going to complete my residency here which will take about a year and half if all things go as planned." She informs him.

"You sure Charming is the best place to do that?"

She looks at him with furrowed brows, "Why wouldn't it be?"

Jax opens his mouth, but their conversation is interrupted by Tig throwing his arm around her shoulder causing her to slosh her drink over its rim.

"We're about to start a game, sweetheart, and if I recall you were the best player we've ever seen."

Cheyenne throws him a smile as she is led away by Tig to the pool table.

Jax turns back around and watches as the game of poll stakes are raised with her appearance. Jax shakes his head; he imagines she has only gotten better at being a shark. College is expensive after all.

He flags down a croweater to hand him another beer and finds he needs to distract himself with something else than Cheyenne bending over a pool table in tight jeans.

He is nursing his beer when a heavily intoxicated Lip bumps into his shoulders. Jax finds the large burly man's arm wrapped around his shoulders as he shakes him.

"What the hell man," Jax mutters as his beer bottle topples over.

"My fucking baby sister is back and a fucking doctor. Can you believe that shit!" Lip proclaims to him.

Despite being annoyed with lip over his spilled beer, he lets the man have it. These past 9 years hadn't been easy on his friend. Jax thinks if it wasn't for Isla Lip would be a total drunken mess. Yet, despite having Isla, Jax can see the fear in his eyes that Nina's worst traits might get passed down onto his daughter, who is the spitting image of his estranged wife. Plus it didn't help that both Lip and Cheyenne had major fuck ups for parents and Lip feared Isla was destine to follow that path as long as she was in Charming. And through this happy deposition of his sister's return, he knew that Lip was scared Cheyenne wouldn't be able to escape her parent's fate.

"Maybe you should slow down, man," Jax says as Lip sways on his feet. After all, he still needed to go home to his daughter not completely drunk.

"Oh fuck, I can't go home to Isla like this." Lip says as he sits on the bar stool. "I've been drinking to fucking much."

Jax grips his friend's shoulder. He wasn't one to judge any man with how they handled pain and guilt. Jax knows that there is drama brewing between him and Nina as it seemed Lip was finally done dealing with her bullshit. He knew the two of them were not talking since her last overdose. "I'll make sure Cheyenne makes it home."

"Thanks man." Lip says.

…

After playing socialite for two hours, Cheyenne can see that the party is about to take a turn for the more scandalous. She bids a goodbye to Gemma and Luann with a promise of a lunch date and finds her brother at the bar with Jax. His eyes are bloodshot and he can barely manage to hold up his weight on his feet.

"You're clearly having a lot of fun." Cheyenne points out to her brother.

"Maybe a little too much," he responds.

"I take it you're staying here for the night?"

"Jax said he would take you home." Lip says slapping the man's shoulder.

"Did he," Cheyenne says. "Well, drink some water and wear a condom."

Lip's face scrunches up. "Gross, I'm not talking about sex with my sister."

Cheyenne rolls her eyes and places a kiss on her brother's cheek. "I'll see you in the morning."

…

With Jax following her on his bike, they reach home in 15 minutes. She parks her car alongside Neeta's and Jax parks behind her.

Cheyenne doesn't expect him to actually follow her up to the steps and even inside as she bids Neeta a goodbye. Cheyenne places her keys on the rack and removes her heels and turns to look at Jax, who is leaning against the door.

For some reason she feels like a teenager again. Despite the history and the things the two of them had, she never lusted after Jax as most women did in Charming. It didn't mean she was blind and there was the fact they did sleep together once.

Some days she could still feel his lips against hers and the feel of him inside, but she knows nothing good can come of those thoughts and memories.

Being with Jax means accepting all of him and the burdens he carries.

Before she can say something to break the silence, he does it for her.

"I'm really glad you're back, Chey." He tells her and sometimes she finds herself privileged that she can see this side of Jax that can reveal bits and pieces of his emotions like he did when they were kids.

Cheyenne wraps him in a hug and she didn't expect to miss the smell of leather, nicotine, and sandalwood so much.


	3. Family

Cheyenne wakes up early. She's used to working 12 hour shifts and really just having haywire hours. Sleeping in wasn't a luxury she had allowed herself in recent months as she worked hard to punch in as many hours to complete her residency.

Despite coming home late in the night from her party and the alcohol that made her feel slightly fuzzy, she still finds herself up bright and early getting ready to make breakfast. She thinks maybe she should've asked Neeta to stay until the morning as she did miss the woman's breakfast.

She's thawing out the bacon and sausage while she cracks some eggs and begins to scramble them. She has biscuits warming in the oven. She had even cut up some fruit.

She has just thrown the eggs on the griddle when the front door opens.

She watches and does her best to suppress the giggle that threatens to escape her lips at the sight of her brother hungover. Eyes so bloodshot that she is surprised he can even see. But as he looks at her, tired and a sleepy smile, she is reminded of their father. She remembers similar scenes with their dad back from a bender or club party, disheveled and hungover or going through withdrawal. Her mom still annoyed by their fight days prior would always sigh with relief that at least he was back home until he wasn't. Her dad and Lip were spitting images of each other, both tall and muscular. People still can't decide if she looks more like her mom or dad.

"I hope you didn't drive here like this," she scolds gently.

He runs his hand through his close cropped brown hair as he finds a seat at the breakfast bar. "I didn't. The Prospect dropped me off."

"I hope you gave him a tip," she remarks as she places a steamy cup of black coffee in front of him.

He takes a long sip of the scolding beverage and she is slightly concerned that he burned his taste buds. But considering the scars that are well hidden beneath her brother's tattoos, she is sure hot coffee is the least painful thing that has happened to him since he joined the club.

"I'm sorry," he says after half the cup is gone.

"It's okay. You're allowed to let loose a little." Cheyenne is under no illusion that fatherhood has been easy for her brother. She knows it's been hard for him becoming a father and husband at the age of 20 and dealing with family issues and the club is always a tiring combination.

"I missed you so fucking much, Chey." He tells her. "I fucking worried about you down there by yourself."

She reaches for his hand across the table and squeezes it. "But I'm back now. Home for good."

"I know I've been a shitty brother –"

"Lip, stop –"

"No, I'm serious. You always had Opie or Jax there for you."

Cheyenne walks around the bar to stand in front of him. "Let's not go there, Lip. It's fine. Stop stressing about the past. I never thought of you as a crappy brother."

Lip pinches his eyes together as he nods his head. "You're right. Sorry."

"There's no need to apologize."

"You're right, but Chey?"

"Yeah."

"You're burning your eggs."

"Oh shit." Cheyenne exclaims as she runs back to the stove.

…

After taking her niece to the movies, Cheyenne and Isla find themselves back in Charming at First Watch café. Isla hasn't stopped smiling since they left the house early in the morning after breakfast.

Despite the smile that adorns both of their faces; she knows that she has missed so much of her niece's life. While at school, she missed her niece learning how to talk and walk. She wasn't able to help her with homework or even watch some of her dance recitals. She knows Lip has done his best and a very fine job in raising her, but Fawn, Neeta, and Gemma weren't Isla's mother or even blood. She was and she hates to think of herself as a distant aunt but that was what she was.

"You're going to be here for a while right?" Isla asks through a mouthful of potato skins.

"Yeah, for good. So I hope you don't get sick of me." Cheyenne replies. She knows Isla just wants some female figure in her life that isn't a total fuck up.

"I won't," Isla promises. "It will be nice having another girl in the house. Dad has no sense of cleanliness and I know he is trying, but all the girly stuff I like freaks him out."

Cheyenne laughs. "Well I'll have you know your dad hasn't changed since he was a kid. He used to leave stuff everywhere."

"Yeah, I'm used to cleaning up after him." Isla tells her. "Although he calls me OCD like you."

"Well that is coming from a guy that used to turn his boxers inside out inside of washing them."

"Ew, gross," Isla says with a scrunched nose. "Luckily, dad has learned to wash his own clothes."

Cheyenne frowns at that thought as she knows Lip only learned domestic skills as Nina possessed none when they got married. Sometimes Cheyenne wishes she, Jax, or even Opie would've talked to Lip about his unhealthy obsession with Nina before it led to a little girl being exposed to the same thing she and Lip were when they were kids. "Isla when's the last time you've seen your mom?"

Her niece isn't expecting that question as she begins picking at the bacon and seasonings on the potato skin. "I don't know. A couple months…she had another overdose and I found her. Dad hasn't let me see her since. Not even a phone call or texts."

Cheyenne is taken back by this as Lip never informed her of this little detail about Nina's last overdose. "Do you want to see her?"

Isla shrugs her shoulders. "I mean I'm used to seeing her strung out. To see her sober…is something like I actually don't know I could be able to see."

Cheyenne feels a pang in her chest at her niece's words as she knows that exact feeling. She only has memories of her mother and father being hopped up on any drug they could get their hands on. She was in the exact situation when her mother would get clean for a couple months. It was almost like her mother was a totally different person when sober. She hates that Isla knows that feeling especially at 9 years old.

"I know it bothers him." Isla says.

"What?"

"It bothers him that I look so much like her."

"Isla –"

She shakes her head. "It's true. I know he's scared that somehow she'll mess me up. That outside of my looks I inherited something else from her, I'm also aware of our drug invested family history."

Cheyenne doesn't have anything to say to that.

…

After a large and hearty breakfast made by his sister and taking a nice hot steaming shower, Lip was finally sobered up. Despite having Neeta, Gemma, and sometimes Fawn help out with Isla, it was rare he really indulged in getting drunk. Isla already had a junkie for a mom; she didn't need an alcoholic father as well.

And thinking of his pathetic junkie gash, he knew he needed to make sure that she was still breathing. He grabs his kutte and keys; he thinks any lingering effects of his hangover will completely disappear seeing Nina.

As he pulls into the driveway behind a car caked in dust, he isn't surprised to find the house he has rented out for her lacks of any type of maintenance. He grumbles at the sight of a pack of newspaper making a fountain by the front steps.

Not even bothering to knock or even announce his presence, he uses his key and unlocks the door.

As soon as he opens the door, he fights the urge to throw up at the smell of ass, smoke, and spoiled food.

He immediately walks into the kitchen where there are dishes filling the sink and a table filled with half eaten food on plates. He opens the window for some clean air and knows that he is really going to have to pay Neeta extra to see if she can make this house not seem like a junkie depot.

He has half the mind to put some of the dishes in the dishwasher, but with his luck he knows there probably isn't even soap.

He wipes his hands on his pants and he expects his junkie wife to be still in bed. But he doesn't have to search far for her as she passed out on the couch. Through a mess of clothes, newspapers, and various nick knacks where he is sure he would find some drug paraphernalia, he reaches his wife and eyes the changes in her since he last seen her crying in a hospital bed proclaiming another broken promise about becoming clean.

His wife looks thinner, laying in just a pair of black bikini underwear and a flimsy holey black t-shirt, with a bong laying a few feet away from her hand. Yet, the most noticeable change to his estranged lover her once brown hair that matched their daughter's is a bright ridiculous red. Sometimes he thinks this woman still thinks she is 19 instead of 29.

He wants to throttle her, but instead he shakes her awake.

"Go away," she mutters.

"Nina, wake the fuck up," he replies gruffly.

It seems the sound of his voice is all she needed to wake up. Her eyes pop open, the once yellow green eyes a dull murky green. She sits up and rubs her nappy hair and squints at him.

"What the fuck do you want?" She asks in her husky voice.

Sometimes he wonders what he saw in this woman.

"I came to make sure you didn't burn the place down or choked on your own vomit."

"I'm touched by your concern." She drawls as she folds her arms across her chest. He notices that her wedding ring is still on her left hand.

"Your daughter is fine by the way." He adds on and he revels in the wince she does. He kicks at the bong on the floor. "What happened to getting clean? Making it work this time?"

"If you came here to argue with me, I think you should just leave." Nina replies.

"Oh are you tired of this conversation. I mean after 9 years I'm getting sick of the repeat too."

Nina's head falls back onto the couch. "Lip, I don't feel like arguing right now, okay. I'm fucking tired –"

Her nonchalant attitude pisses him off. "And hungover and probably still high," he retorts and he barely realizes his foot coming up and then down on the glass bong making it shatter.

"Hey, asshole!" She shouts as he finally gets some reaction – emotion – out of her.

"I'm sick of this shit," he hollers at her. "I'm done."

He watches as her eyes widen. He doesn't know if it's because she realizes he isn't about to bankroll her anymore or that he won't let her in their lives at all. "What does that mean?"

"It means I'm filing for fucking divorce."

He can tell she is taken back and he knows he is to blame for that. He allowed for too long this back and forth between them. The only reason he showed effort now was because she was Isla's mother and he loved her at one time.

"You don't even want to make this work?"

"I've been trying to make this work for 9 fucking years, Nina." He shouts at her. It seemed drugs had messed up her memory. "Isla can't handle another one of your broken promises of becoming sober. I won't allow it."

Nina's eyes harden. "You will not box me out from my child."

Lip laughs. He full on laughs at her statement as she hasn't seen Isla for two months out of her own doing. "You're doing a fine job of that on your own with this junkie bullshit."

"So does coming here and scolding me like a goddamn child make you feel better?"

Lip sighs as his hands itch to smack the shit out of her. Not because on some days he hates her very being, but for the way she is a shit mother to their daughter. Yet, he knows he shows some weakness by standing here even showing concern for her that she brushes off. "Cheyenne moved back. With her helping out with Isla, I can have Neeta come by and help you out. If you want to see your daughter she has a dance recital coming up, I'll have Neeta bring you the info."

"Lip –"

He ignores her soft call of his name as he digs into his leather kutte for the envelope. He throws it on the table as he shakes his head, "This should last you a couple weeks. Don't spend it all in one place."

"Lip –"

He ignores her once more as he makes his way out of the house.

"Lip –"

He rushes out the door and slams it in her face as he speeds to his bike.

God, he hates her so much.

…

Taking a short needed ride around Charming, Lip finally heads to the clubhouse. With Isla and Cheyenne having their girls' day out, there is no need for him to sit and stew in an empty house especially after seeing Nina. He parks his bike and beelines it into the club, he thinks he might play a game of pool, maybe entertain a croweater, but instead he finds Jax at the bar and he strides it over to him.

"Hey brother," he greets as he slides onto the stool next to his VP.

Jax looks up at him and gives him a smile, "I'm surprised you're not sleeping."

Lip laughs. "Nah, had Sack take me home and was lucky when I did because Cheyenne was in the middle of making breakfast."

"What she make?" Jax asks as outside of his mother, Cheyenne was the best cook in Charming. If anything, her baked goods were something he craved for 9 years.

"The whole fucking spread man." Lip says fondly.

"Where she at now?" Jax inquires.

"Spending the day with Isla." He tells him as the Prospect brings him a beer. "Doing girl things and what not."

"Isla must be thrilled with her being back."

Lip huffs. "Better she has her than her fucking mother."

Jax's spine stiffens. "You see her?"

"Told her I'm about to give her papers soon." Lip reveals.

That is news to Jax's ears. For years they all had told Lip to just divorce the woman, but he never seemed able to find the strength to do it for reasons Jax did not understand. The club had witnessed many fights between Nina and Lip. Everyone had secondhand embarrassment when Lip would inform them of Nina's very public overdoses or when they would witness one of her crank fueled fits. Outside of that, Jax was aware after Isla was born of the physical fights Nina and Lip would get in or he should say Nina's violence. He remembers Lip going to his mom's late at night with deep gashes on his cheek and shoulders from Nina with a baby Isla in her carrier asking him mom for help.

It was a toxic relationship he let linger and fester.

Yet through all that he isn't sure how Fawn fits into the picture. He knows that since Lip bought a new house for him and Isla that he hasn't touched his wife. He didn't let her even scratch the occasional itch when they were still living together the last year they were together. Jax witnessed Lip entertain croweaters here in Charming and on runs, but somehow Fawn was in the picture. Fawn didn't seem to mind that Lip messed around. Jax was unsure how this was working out as despite Fawn's and Tig's stunted relationship, she still was a club member's daughter and if he was being honest with himself, Fawn was being treated like a personal sweetbutt.

"How she take it?"

"Shocked like this hasn't been coming since we exchanged fucking vows." Lip mutters while he motions a sweetbutt for another drink.

"Was she high?" Jax questions. He knows like with most addicts they almost seemed bipolar with all their different personalities as the drug abused worsened.h

"House is a fucking disaster. She was passed out on the couch just in a shirt and underwear a bong laying on the floor. Who knows if her shit was laced."

Despite Charming's no dealing policy that didn't mean people didn't cross the border to get their shit. Plus addicts are resourceful when it comes to wanting to get their next hit. "All that shit will work itself out."

"I just don't understand how I can still love her, still feel something for her, but at the same time hate her fucking guts so much. Like the sight of her disgusts me." Lip reveals as he picks at his beer bottle. "Nina has given me the greatest gift ever by giving me a daughter, but there are some days Jax I hate her for it. I hate myself for it. I'm not saying I regret my daughter because she makes all this shit worth it. But what I do regret is letting her ever know Nina as her mother."

…

After filling their bellies up and working off all the calories by a shopping excursion in Stockton and Lodi, Cheyenne and Isla are heading back to Charming. It's nearing dinner time and both girls know that Lip is waiting for them and some supper. Cheyenne knows that her brother can cook, but she also knows that he prefers her to do the cooking. Cheyenne will indulge him for the first couple weeks.

Driving through Charming, Cheyenne decides to take a detour.

Growing up around the club and just having a brother, Cheyenne was around Jax and Opie Winston a lot.

Unlike Jax, Opie always felt like another brother, fierce and protective. He always made time for her like she was his actual flesh and blood. Cheyenne knew she could always rely on Opie in a different way she could her own brother and even Jax.

It's one thing that she almost didn't like about being away from Charming. Since Opie's arrest she couldn't help his family out the way she wanted to. Of course she took the almost two hour drive from San Diego to visit him. Make sure he was keeping his head down to get back at home with his family. Back to Donna.

Isla becomes excited as they near the house mostly likely at the prospect of seeing her best friend, Ellie. The two girls were about 6 months apart and thick as thieves just like how Opie and Jax were.

"Does Ellie do dance or gymnastics with you?" Cheyenne asks.

Isla shakes her head in the negative. "She did, but with Aunt Donna picking up extra shifts…she had no way there or the money."

Cheyenne nods her head sadly. "But –"

"Dad offered to pay and even said that Neeta didn't mind being the DD, but you know how Aunt Don is."

"Why do you know so much about this?"

"Gemma and the guys don't have quiet voices."

"You shouldn't eavesdrop."

Isla shrugs her shoulders.

Cheyenne pulls into the driveway and they find Donna mowing the lawn.

She can tell the prison widow is confused who is pulling into her driveway until recognition dawns on her.

Cheyenne and Isla exit the car with bright smiles.

"I would hug you, but I'm all sweaty." Donna says.

Cheyenne waves her off and engulfs her in a tight hug. "It's good to see you, Donna."

"You too, Dr. Henderson."

"Stop. I still have to complete my residency before it's official official."

"Still it's more than what most of us can say or show for ourselves." Donna replies before she turns her eyes on Isla. "Ellie's in the back with Ken."

Isla gives her a smile and a quick hug before she dashes off to the backyard. "I have to say I'm glad those two have each other." Donna comments before she leads her over to the garage onto some plastic chairs.

"Doing some cleaning?" Cheyenne asks as she sees various things scattered on the floor and boxes.

Donna looks at the clutter in the garage disdainfully. "Yes and no."

Cheyenne surmises that Donna was venting some anger. "I hear July 4th is his homecoming."

Donna snorts. "Yeah. I've been waiting five years for it, but now I wish I could prolong it."

"I think most feel like that, honestly."

"Have you seen him?"

"Not for a while. Been busy with my residency." Cheyenne informs her.

"He'll be proud of you. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks."

"Sorry, I didn't come to the party. It's nothing against you. I just –"

"I understand." Cheyenne says as she watches passing cars.

"How does it feel to be back?"

"Ask me that in about three weeks."

"Well I can tell you that nothing has changed in Charming."

"Except its people."

"Not all of them." Donna replies sadly before she stands up and offers her a drink.

They move from the garage into the house. The kids are still outside playing as the two older woman move on to more lighthearted subjects such as school, the different patients Cheyenne has had, and living in such a big city. Donna updated her on the kids and even provided some pictures for her to take. Still Donna couldn't hide the fact that despite Opie not being here her whole life still revolved around that fact.

She loved Donna like a sister. She witnessed the start of their relationship and knew how much the two of them loved each other.

And despite how much the club was speaking behind Donna's back at her cold shoulder to them, Cheyenne can understand it. Cheyenne feels that Donna is entitled to it. She was raising two babies by herself without their father, who once released, was going to go back to the very thing that got him locked up. Donna knew that he was going to go back to the risk. But at the same time it's a slippery slope of wanting to assign blame and anger. She thinks that Donna is probably really angry at herself for knowing that no matter what Opie promises her, he can never be anything else except an outlaw.

Cheyenne was discussing a more disturbing, but funny case she had come across working as an intern when they heard the front door to the house open. Both girls stiffen, but Cheyenne relaxes when she notices it's just Jax.

He puts his hands up in a friendly gesture. "Hello."

"Hey, Jax," Donna greets neutrally. "What brings you over on this side of town?"

"Was just passing through. Thought I would see my niece and nephew." He replies not bothered by Donna's tone.

"Well they're in the back." Donna says stiffly. "I'm going to be in the garage."

Before Cheyenne can even stop her, Donna is out of the dining room in a flash. Cheyenne looks backs up to Jax, who doesn't even seem fazed.

"You know you could retire the kutte," Cheyenne exclaims as she is sure Donna doesn't need any SAMCRO reminders in the house.

Jax looks at his leather vest and only shrugs his shoulders. He walks over to wear she is sitting, "Heard you and Isla had a busy day."

"We did." Cheyenne confirms.

"Buy anything for me," Jax teases.

"You know I forgot you even existed until just now."

Jax frowns. "That wounds me, darlin'."

Cheyenne cackles and the corner of Jax's lips quirk up. Cheyenne doesn't realize she missed this. The easy banter between the two. She didn't have this back in San Diego or Los Angeles with anyone. Yet, Jax wasn't like anyone else.

Turning her head away from his blue eyes and sinful lips, she looks outside to where Isla is playing with Ellie and Kenny. She looks so happy and carefree.

Jax follows her line of sight. He places his hand on her shoulder and gives it a reassuring squeeze. "It's good your back, Chey."

Cheyenne leans her head on his hand.


	4. The First Day

With allowing a couple weeks to get accumulated to Charming and her family, Cheyenne is ecstatic to be back in the sterile hallways of a hospital. Despite the private hospital's small size and location, which meant that she probably wouldn't get a lot of diverse cases, in spite of that, the smaller workload meant she would be able to really invest in cases and perfect her skill.

She was sure she would miss the bustling days of San Diego's busy halls, but she knows she will thrive at St. Thomas. Besides, the private hospital did have an outstanding reputation and doctors were known to go to Stockton Memorial or the state prison for gratis work, which looked great on her resume long term.

No matter what, she is glad to be back working.

Margaret Murphy, the red headed administrator, seems ecstatic to have her. The Obstetrics and Gynecology department was looking for a new doctor to fill a spot. She was more than happy to welcome her to the team and was hopeful once she completed her residency that she would be happy enough to retain her position there. It had seemed her professors had given glowing remarks and recommendations.

Even though she grew up in Charming and even took a summer internship at the hospital, during high school, as she believed she would be a nursing major, she allowed Margaret to give her a detailed tour of the place even down to the basement. Some of the nurses and doctors that worked the hall when she was a kid were there and were happy to see her as a doctor no less. She knows most didn't think she would leave the world of outlaw bikers and she knows most are skeptical about her return to Charming and all that it holds.

Despite that Margaret doesn't seem to comment on her connection to the outlaw club if she even knows about it.

After orientation, Margaret leads her to the Obstetrics and Gynecology floor, where she will be working under Dr. Greenfield. Despite her specialty, Margaret had told her that given the nature of the small hospital and her residency she should expect to work in other departments as a floater.

Cheyenne finds with the absence of the one doctor, the department is backed up and overworked with cases. It's not that different from an overpopulated city, she thinks.

Her first day goes smooth. Maybe too smooth, but she doesn't mind. It makes her eager for the following day. Most of the staff seem nice and are appreciative of a familiar face roaming the halls. Yet, she knows soon they are going to challenge her on her knowledge and skill. She knows most won't mean any harm about it, but some will still think she is low class biker scum or as they called her in high school, a biker whore.

Despite her excitement of work, she can't wait to get back to Isla and Lip, who she knows will not really care to hear about imaging procedure, blood tests, Pap smears, and breast exams. Luckily Lip only lives 15 minutes away from St. Thomas, an easy and convenient walk to and from work. With her satchel across her shoulder, the sun setting low, she knows to appreciate even getting out this early in a residency, she begins her journey home.

She knows she could drive, but as she learned down in school, the best way to decompress was to go on walks. Walking through the city allowed her to allow any stressors to flow out of her, she would focus on little kids lighting firecrackers or old ladies feeding birds. It was nice and calming and now in Charming she finds it no different. Plus walking the streets in Charming is safer than San Diego.

She is five minutes into her walk when she makes a mental note that she should invest in a new iPod when she hears a familiar growl of a bike. She first thinks it's her brother, but he told her that he would be at the clubhouse until Isla needed to be picked up from her dance practice.

But the growl of the bike is different and the figure isn't as bulky as her brother. She slows her walk to an eventually stop as the bike slows to a stop in front of her. It's Jax.

"You getting off from work?"

"Yeah."

"You're walking?" He says pointing out the obvious as he looks around the block as if the boogeyman is going to jump out and mug her.

"It's not a far walk, Jax."

"Something wrong with your car?" He asks.

"No, I just like the walk."

He doesn't look impressed as he unclips his helmet.

Cheyenne sighs. "Jax –"

"Chey," he says as he extends his helmet out to her.

"Jax, really I'm fine walking."

"I would feel better if you let me take you home." He insists.

Cheyenne's eyes narrow. "Why? Is something going on?"

Jax levels her with a blank stare. "Does it matter if there is?"

Cheyenne bites her bottom lip as she has another retort on the tip of her tongue, but she knows it's better than to start arguing with a biker – any biker. Reluctantly she snatches the helmet out of his hand and clips it onto her head.

She has the urge to slap him as she can see the quirk of his lips as she swings her leg over his bike.

Arriving back to Lip's, she doesn't comment that he took a little ride through town to make the ride longer. She didn't necessarily mind as she did miss being on the back of a bike. It made her want to slap Jax even more as he knew she enjoyed the short ride.

She loosens her arms from his waist and removes herself off his bike. She unclips the helmet and hands it back with a small smile. "Thanks for the ride."

"No problem. You still have your helmet?"

"It's probably somewhere in the house. I don't think I'll be riding on the back of Lip's bike unless he takes a power hose to it." Cheyenne drawls.

Jax chuckles as he shakes his head. His hands clutch the grip to his silent bike.

Cheyenne digs for her keys in her bag and tilts her head back to the empty dark house.

"I'm making dinner. You can stay if you want." She offers.

…

With Jax accepting her offer of dinner, Cheyenne makes quick work of shrugging out of her scrubs into some cotton shorts and t-shirt. She finds Jax in the kitchen rummaging through the fridge for a beer.

"Well I see you've made yourself at home." Cheyenne jokes.

Jax snaps up with the cold beer in his grip and gives her a smile. "Well if you'll believe it, I actually did watch Isla with Kenny and El a few times."

Cheyenne shakes her head as she begins grabbing the materials and food she needs to make Chicken Parmesan.

Jax settles at the breakfast bar and watches her. Although, Cheyenne has a feeling his eyes are on her legs and behind.

Jax finally clears his throat. "So how was the first day on the job?"

Cheyenne shoots him a wide smile. "It was great actually, but I'm sure you don't want to hear about Pap smears and such."

Jax grimaces and nods his head in the affirmative. "So everyone treated you good."

"Well it's the first day so everyone was nice. I'm sure once I get comfortable and familiar that people will start to challenge me. It's to be expected. I'm new and young." She tells him.

Jax nods his head. "How did you switch from wanting to become a nurse to doctor?"

"My first year advisor told me to make the switch. Said I would make a great nurse, but I would be a brilliant doctor."

"You should be proud of yourself, Chey."

"I am." She says proudly.

"So that means with that doctor salary you can afford the gas to take you to and from work." Jax quips.

Cheyenne doesn't hide her eye roll from him as she turns away from the food she was preparing. "I don't need a watchdog or knight in shining armor. I know that's your thing, but I don't need it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Cheyenne bites her lip as she looks at him. Unsure of how too exactly to word what's she's trying to say. She wasn't unappreciative of the ways he did look out for her. She knew that that protective feeling he had over those he cared about wasn't from the club and the responsibility and code they followed. This instinct he was born with. It was an integral part of Jax.

As she grew up and got older, that protectiveness changed with her, just like how their relationship changed before them. Never of them acknowledging the first kiss he given her or that moment on the Wahewa lands. She wondered if it was more dangerous of them to leave it unsaid. Unsaid to everyone they knew.

Cheyenne's grey eyes look into his blue ones. "It's different between us now."

Jax takes a sip of his beer. She can see those moments between them in his eyes. "It's because we're two different people now."

"To other people, yes. But to each other?" She asks him.

She can tell he seems uncomfortable with the conversation and a part of her knows why. She can see it as his eyes tries to stay above her neckline.

Jax licks his lips and he rubs a hand down his face, "Chey –"

His words are cut off, but the loud unmistakable growl of her brother's bike.

…

As expected, with being in a residency Cheyenne finds herself being handed easy assignments like handling birth control implants or reading over blood work. She doesn't mind it per say, but grunt work is the small price to pay before she will be seen on equal level with her licensure. Besides it gives her an easy day to be handling such load work.

However the next name on her list of a checkup makes her eyes roll.

She knocks on the door before she enters and finds Fawn Trager sitting on an exam table.

"Well if it isn't Dr. Henderson." Fawn says with a wave.

"Are you really here for an appointment or is this a social call?" Cheyenne asks as she closes the door.

"And here I thought you would be excited to see me." Fawn drawls as she winks.

"Outside of work, yes." Cheyenne replies as she stuffs her hands in her pocket. "Besides I'm sure whatever questions you have about your health I could've answered when I last saw you a couple days ago."

"That may be true," Fawn answers. "But I am here to change my birth control from the shot to IUD. Scout's honor."

"I can see that. Any questions before I insert it." Cheyenne asks her.

Fawn lays back on the exam table, "Not really a question, but a comment."

Cheyenne rolls over the side table and her scooter towards her friend. "And what comments is that."

"Are you on birth control?"

Cheyenne quirks her eyebrow, "Why are you asking me that?"

"Hey, you're looking at my vag right now, so I don't think that question is intrusive."

" _Why_  are you asking, Fawn?"

"Well at the diner I heard that Jax Teller has been giving you rides home after work." Fawn says simply.

"Anyone ever tell you that you shouldn't listen to gossip."

"I only listen to it when I suspect it to be true. So is Jax Teller giving you rides home?"

"Yeah, he does." Cheyenne says knowing there was no point in denying it.

"Are you two fucking?"

"God, no. Jeeze." Cheyenne says with her nose scrunched.

"It's a valid question."

"Well we're not sleeping together. He gives me rides home from work that's it." Cheyenne states.

"So it never crosses your mind?"

"What?"

"Ya know," Fawn says with a waggle of her brows.

"Does it cross yours?" Cheyenne says as she slips on some gloves and begins prepping her instruments.

"Surprisingly, no."

It's quiet for a moment as Cheyenne focuses on the task in front of her and instructs her about what she is about to do. Talking through what she is doing to her friend as she inserts the IUD, it stalls all talk about Cheyenne's non-existent dating life.

As soon as Cheyenne is out of her friend's vagina their personal conversation resumes.

"Why are you pushing this so much Fawn?" Cheyenne asks her.

"I just find it weird that out of all of us you two never settled down yet."

"You haven't either unless you need to tell me about someone," Cheyenne points out.

"I don't," Fawn quickly recovers. "It's just…you two always seemed close. If I can be perfectly honest being here…sometimes I felt like Jax was waiting for you."

"You're being ridiculous." Cheyenne scoffs.

"Chey, you haven't been here. Some of the girls –"

"I really don't want to hear this," Cheyenne says with a shake of her head.

"Fine, but be honest with me, have you and Jax ever…"

Cheyenne turns and leans against the counter in the exam room. She doesn't want to lie to her friend, but if it would stop her pestering she'll indulge her. "Jax and I…we kissed once."

Fawn doesn't seem surprised. "And you never slept with him."

Cheyenne's eyes flicker away guilty.

"When the fuck was this?"

"Fawn, this isn't an appropriate time to be talking about this."

"I'm confused as your best friend why you didn't tell me this."

"Because it doesn't matter, Fawn. It's not like I went daydreaming of being his Old Lady. It happened and we moved on."

"Did you?" Fawn asks her.

Cheyenne purses her lips and doesn't respond. Instead she turns back to the medical professional and gives Fawn all the information she needs to know about her form of birth control.

…

Jax can say he is actually exhausted working in the garage for once. Despite the shower he just took he can still smell the motor oil on his skin and can even see it under his finger nails. Still one of the perks of the clubhouse being right next to his legal job is that he only has to walk two feet to get a nice cold beer.

Most of the guys have turned to the croweaters to sooth the aches of an 8 to 12 hours day work, but him, Lip, and Piney have taken refuge at the bar. Jax only wishes that Opie was here with them. Jax always dreamed of the day when he would become President with Opie as his Vice President and Lip as his Sergeant in Arms. Except since Opie got locked up and Donna's increasing anger, he can't help but feel Opie is going to pull away from the club to appease her when he gets out. Those thoughts make him frown. Jax turns to the clock and finds that it's 15 minutes to 6 o'clock. Cheyenne is supposed to get out at 6.

Standing up, he pats Piney on the back and bids him goodbye and he is about to do the same to Lip, but the burly tattooed man stops him.

"Where you going?" Lip asks him.

"Out." Jax says with a furrow brow.

Lip leans up straighter and turns his body to face Jax fully. There is a look in Lip's brown eyes that Jax has never seen. It makes even him stand straighter.

" _Out_ …it's funny because my sister gets out of work at 6. You're leaving right now. Is there anything you need to tell me?" Lip probes as his arm leans on the countertop and the other over the shoulder of his chair.

"You listening to gossip now?"

"When it comes to my sister absolutely." Lip says with a wide smile.

"I just give her a ride man, no harm."

"On your bike or dick," Lip says now with his arms crossed. Jax knew this question was coming, but he is even taken back by the blunt nature of it and so is Piney as he looks like he is about to intervene.

"Lip, maybe you two should discuss this somewhere else," Piney advises.

"You're right." Lip agrees. "I should talk to my sister about it."

Jax narrows his eyes. "Are we going to have a problem?"

"I hope not." Lip says before he turns back to his beer.

…

Cheyenne practically hops down the steps of St. Thomas to where Jax is leaning against his bike smoking a cigarette. "You really don't need to keep giving me rides, Jax," Cheyenne says despite the smile on her face.

Jax stubs out his cigarette before he hands her his helmet. Jax had dug out an extra helmet, but after Lip and now knowing people were gossiping about this, he left it untouched in his dorm.

Cheyenne clips on the helmet and as she sees Jax hasn't moved from his spot she frowns at him. "Everything okay?"

Jax shakes his head and turns to get on his bike. "Yeah, you hungry?" He calls over his shoulder.

"Jax, you don't need to take me to dinner or whatever." Cheyenne says as she gets on behind him and wraps her arms around his waist.

…

Despite her words, Jax takes her to Lumpy's Family Restaurant, nothing fancy, but the greasy food was something she had missed during her time away. As the two walk in, Cheyenne is fully aware of the eyes that turn to them. Jax seems to ignore them as he leads them to the table in the back away from prying eyes. And of course since he is SAMCRO he doesn't need to wait for the server to take them to a table.

A waitress is quick to get to their table giving them menus as well taking their orders for drinks. He asks her his usual questions about her day at work and he tells her about his or what he can. It isn't until their food is serve where she knows the waitress won't be bothering them for a while unless it's for drinks she turns the table on the conversation.

"How do you think Opie is going to handle getting out?" She asks.

She can tell he is taken back by the question as his face scrunches and he looks up at her. "What do you mean?"

"I was just thinking with how Donna is right now…the push and pull…is he going to be able to handle his family that is going in one direction, but the club is going through another."

"They'll work shit out. Donna knows what the Life is." Jax replies.

"What she knows Jax is that she doesn't want to be alone raising two kids again." Cheyenne counters.

"You think she'll divorce 'im?"

Cheyenne shrugs her shoulders. "She hasn't yet so that could mean something, but I don't know if you haven't noticed no one is married in the club besides your mom and Clay. I mean Luann and Otto are. But Otto's in prison."

"What you getting out, Chey?"

Cheyenne sighs. "I don't know." Cheyenne nibbles on her fry and she can still feel Jax's eyes on her. "Why haven't you found anything…since Tara?"

Jax completely abandons his food as he leans back in his vinyl seat. "You saw how me and Tara were. Fucking crazy about each other. Wild. Possessive, but I loved her. It made me fucking reckless, but at the same time invincible. Felt like Superman. I realized you only get that feeling once."

"Are you waiting for her to come back?" Cheyenne probes.

Jax shakes his head. "You saw me after she left," he begins referencing to his revolving door of women. "When you left…there was this croweater, Wendy, she wasn't a girlfriend, but she filled a void that I had. We had good times, but she was a fucking mess, which was expected since she hung out with Nina. After that…I wasn't going to waste my time. I thought maybe I should wait for someone better to come along. I mean if Tara could make me feel like Superman. It's going to be nice someday when someone could make me feel like God." Jax ends with a wolfish smile.

Cheyenne snorts and can't help but roll her eyes.

"What about you? Meet any aspiring lawyers, engineers, doctors?" Jax inquires.

"Actually, I got back with Mason."

Jax's brows furrow as he thinks about that curly haired boy and then his eyebrows skyrocket. "Daniels?"

Cheyenne nods her head. "Yeah, he was the only thing familiar down there. It was a goddamn mess though with the back and forth. We really didn't work out. Just a mess."

"What happened?" Jax asks curious although he still feels that jealous heat when he thinks about his first encounter with the boy.

"Just never felt right. Timing always seemed off. Plus we both wanted different things in life. I'm sure he doesn't miss me like I don't miss him."

Jax's lips quirk up at that. He leans forward and his eyes scan the restaurant where people are trying not to be nosey as he and Cheyenne eat their dinner. It makes Jax think about Lip's words. "Lip talk to you?"

"About what?"

"Us."

Cheyenne's brows pinch together. "What do you mean  _us_?"

"Apparently there are some things being said about us, but I wouldn't worry about it since my mom hasn't confronted me about it." Jax tells her with a smile.

"Hmph."

"Does it bother you?"

"That people think we're fucking?" She asks bluntly.

Jax nods his head.

"I'm more concerned about what we're actually doing than what people think." Cheyenne says.

Jax doesn't get to respond to that as the waitress comes bustling over making sure they are still doing okay.


	5. A Bridge

Cheyenne finds herself standing outside with a fresh box of donuts and juice and wonders if she should’ve called first.

With being back in Charming going on a month, Cheyenne decides now would be a good time to visit her soon to be former sister in law. Despite Nina’s and Lip’s tumultuous marriage, Cheyenne always tried to be civil to Nina for the sake of Isla, and for the fact that just being plain nasty to the woman wasn’t very conductive to anything.

After all, Cheyenne never directly had a problem with Nina. She can say she didn’t expect her brother and Nina to have lasted this long. Cheyenne and most thought that it would just be some high school romance with Lip just discovering the rush of lust as a teenager. Instead, Lip had stuck with the notorious party girl and for all that Cheyenne knew her brother was faithful, give or take a night or two.

From that start though, Nina’s infamous partying way were known. Nina had a reputation for being the life of every party she attended. She was known for being the go to girl that guys flocked too if they were looking for a little more. Cheyenne can recall a lot of conversations between Jax, Opie, and her brother about Nina’s reputation and how it wasn’t exactly old lady material. However, unlike Opie and Jax, who were fast to proclaim and tag their high school sweethearts, it was never like that with Lip.

Nina was just someone her brother could count on for a guarantee lay. After all, in high school, girls wanted a piece of anyone attached to the club. Despite raising their nose at them before they settled down in suburbia, girls needed that one night of indiscretion with the outlaw bikers.

Nina didn’t even get her crow until after Isla was born – after the wedding.

Even though Cheyenne supports her brother through everything, she could tell the fact it seemed Nina loved Lip more than he loved her bothered her. Cheyenne suspects it was why Nina turns to drugs so much so that she could fill that void Lip constantly gives her.

Cheyenne thinks she has pity for her former sister in law, but even if she and Lip had their problems, it was no excuse to abandon her daughter. Now returning to Charming and seeing the affect Nina’s absence has on Isla first hand, she knows Lip was downplaying the severity of Nina’s addiction.

After all it’s been almost two months since the mother has seen her own flesh and blood and it’s only a 15 minute drive to Lip’s house.

Seeing as the doorbell doesn’t seem to be working, Cheyenne knocks on the door. Cheyenne knows she is home as the car is in the driveway and Nina currently doesn’t have a job. Lip is supporting the woman to the point he is more of a sponsor or maybe even an enabler.

Finally she hears some movement coming from inside the home and the door opens and reveals Nina.

Despite the heavy drug use, Nina is lucky it hasn’t messed with her skin or aging too bad. The 29 year old looks the same as she did when she was 21. Except now she has fire engine red hair that doesn’t seem to be doing her any favors at the moment. She is also thankfully clothed in simple denim jeans and a white t-shirt.

The bottled red head seems shocked to see her.

“Lip mentioned you were back.” Nina greets.

Cheyenne gives her a small smile and holds up the box of donuts. “I brought some food.”

Nina lets her in. Cheyenne doesn’t expect a tour as she finds the kitchen to place the donuts on the counter. The house is a mess, but she spots some hampers and cleaning supplies out so she supposed Nina is actually cleaning for once. Nina bypasses her and hops onto the counter next to the box of donuts and begins to dig in.

Cheyenne stands awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen.

Just because the two of them never had any real issues, Cheyenne could tell even when she was younger that Nina never cared for her. Or she simply thought of her as Lip’s younger nerdy sister.

“I hear you’re a doctor now.” Nina states through a mouthful of a honey glazed donut.

“I’m working to get my licensure to be an OBGYN.” Cheyenne replies.

“You want to look at women’s vag for a living?”

“Well when you put it like that…”

Nina shakes her head as she begins work on another donut.

“How have you been?” Cheyenne asks.

Nina scoffs. “As if Lip hasn’t told you.”

“It doesn’t  matter what Lip has told me, I’m asking you.” The ebony hair girl counters.

“Why are you here, Cheyenne? Because I’m not buying the Good Samaritan act.” Nina states bluntly.

“I’m here because now that I’m back in Charming…we can all figure out what’s best for Isla.” Cheyenne tells her. At the end of the day, no matter what’s going on between Lip and Nina their main focus should be Isla and what’s best for her.

“Isla isn’t your daughter –“

“But she’s my niece. She’s still blood and family.” Cheyenne interrupts. “Do you think this is healthy for her? Seeing you like this?”

“She doesn’t see me.”

“Well whose fault is that?” Cheyenne retorts.

Nina clenches her jaw. “Look I know you’re trying to place nice, but I really don’t need or want your help.”

“You really don’t need to be making any more enemies, Nina.”

“What I need is for you to get out of my house.” Nina states.

Cheyenne bites her tongue as she knew her talk was going to end this way. Cheyenne digs through her bag and pulls out a piece of paper and pen and writes her number down. Even if Nina is being hostile now she isn’t going to close the door on at least trying to help the addict for Isla’s sake. “If you ever need anything, you can reach me.” Cheyenne offers. She places the paper on the counter and a part of her knows the paper will find a home in the trash.

“Thanks for the donuts,” Nina departs with.

…

No matter what is going on with the club or his personal relationships, Isla always comes first to Lip. There were times when Clay was miffed with him for putting Isla before the club, but as much as the club was family, Isla was his daughter. He was left alone to raise her and he knew he didn’t want her to feel that same hatred he held for his own father and mother. So with his sister now back in Charming and Nina’s recent overdose, he knew it was time to take his daughter out one on one and to see how she was handling these recent developments in her life.

With Charming so small there isn’t much to do and despite him knowing his daughter is getting older it doesn’t stop him from taking her to the park to the large pond to feed the ducks.

With some treats for the birds, their picnic blanket lays on the soft grass. He knows a lot of them think Isla looks like Nina and he can see it in her eyes and the shape of her face and nose. Even down to his daughter is built. Yet, he thinks his daughter looks like his mother. Tall, elegant, and beautiful. He thinks Isla could become a model if she wanted to, but his daughter is destined for greater things.

“I spoke to Nina a couple weeks back.” He tells her.

Isla doesn’t seem surprised by the news. “I heard she has red hair.”

Lip sighs as he is sure one of the gossiping queens around the neighborhood made a comment to their kid who then proceeded to tell his daughter that.

“I’ve decided that I’m going to divorce your mom.”

That makes her freeze and turn her head over to look at him. It’s the same look he sees on Cheyenne’s face time to time as she calculates something in her head. “Well it’s obvious you aren’t happy with her.” She begins. “It’s not like I can remember a time you two were ever together.”

Lip frowns at that. His biggest regret was exposing his daughter to his toxic relationship with Nina. “I want you to know that no matter what happens between your mother and I...when she’s sober and clean…I won’t stop you from getting to know her.”

Isla bites her lip. Despite how close the two of them are he still doesn’t have an accurate read on his daughter’s feelings when it comes to Nina.

“I’m so used to her not being here…I don’t think I can ever make room for her.” She tells him. “Besides, I don’t think Mom really even likes me.”

“Isla –“

“No it’s true. I don’t think people like Mom…are people who should have kids. I think she realized just because she had me it didn’t mean that it would be a sure way for her to keep you.”

Lip is taken back by her words. He knows that someone has been feeding her daughter some truths that a 9 year old shouldn’t even need to know.

“Where did you hear that from?”

Isla rolls her eyes. “Dad, I’m 9 not 5.”

“Well if you didn’t realize only 4 years ago you were 5.” He points out with a frown. “You’re growing up too fast.”

Isla smiles at him as she snickers.

“How do you feel with your aunt coming back home?”

“I’m really happy about it!” Isla exclaims. “It’s going to be nice with another woman in the house.”

“Hey –“ Lip begins in protest.

“Dad you leave your socks everywhere.” Isla tells him with a pinched nose.

“I don’t complain about your hair always in the bathroom.”

“I always clean it up!” Isla insists.

“You mean Neeta does.” He corrects as he wraps his arm around her shoulder and brings her into a hug. He knows soon she won’t like his open affection so he revels in any chance he can just hug his daughter because even though as she gets older everyday she’ll always be his little girl.

“Isla, you and Cheyenne are the most important people to me.” He says against her head.

“I love you too, Dad.”

…

Cheyenne isn’t exactly surprised how the visit with Nina went. She’s only disappointed that Nina doesn’t seem to want to change if not for herself, but for her daughter. However, Cheyenne knows how lethal addiction is to family relationships and it changes people. The only thing she can focus on is that Isla grows up knowing that even if her mother is absent that there are other people that love her even more and more fiercely.

Cheyenne is leaning against the kitchen counter when a knocks come from the front door. Answering it she finds Jax on the other side.

“What are you doing here?” She asks.

“You said that your visit with Nina didn’t go so well.” He says as he enters the house.

Cheyenne shakes her head at him as she closes the door. “I didn’t realize that meant it was an invitation to come over.”

“What? You don’t enjoy my company?” He responds as he flashes a big wide smile.

Cheyenne rolls her eyes as they head into the living room.

“So how’s Nina doing?” Jax asks as he plops onto the couch.

“How’d you expect? She wasn’t high or drunk, but her attitude still sucks.” She informs him as she sits down next to him and curls around one of the pillows.

“I don’t think she was ever really pleasant to begin with.” Jax mutters.

“I just don’t understand how a mother…cannot care for her child. Like she acts like Isla doesn’t even matter.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t stress too much about it. She isn’t worth it.”

“I know. I just don’t want Isla to grow up messed up because of this.”

Jax doesn’t say anything for a couple seconds. “Are you talking about you or Isla? Because I don’t think you grew messed up. You are a doctor after all.”

Cheyenne huffs.

“How about on Friday you come to the clubhouse?” Jax offers.

“Jax, that isn’t really my scene.”

“Just stop through have a drink. Trust me that is the usual cure for dealing with Nina. Just an hour tops.”

“Jax –“

Jax scoots closer and she finds his hand reaching out for hers. “Come on you can hang out with me for a little.”

“Yeah like you need a cock blocker, no thank you.” Cheyenne says as she goes to remove her hand out of his grasp, but he tightens his grip.

“Chey –“

“Jax –“

“You wouldn’t be a cock blocker. I want you to come.” Jax brings her hand closer right onto his chest as he pouts. “Please.”

Cheyenne sighs in defeat. “Fine.”

Jax smiles at her and instead of dropping her hand. He keeps it close to his chest as his thumb rubs it back and forth. Soon his hand leaves hers as it travels up her arm as he rubs soothing circles.

Jax moves closer to her as his hand continues to trail up her arm leaving goosebumps in its wake. Soon his hand makes it up to the side of her neck before he cups her jaw and his thumb traces her bottom lip. She knows that she should pull back. She knows nothing good can come from messing around with Jax despite any history the two may share.

Despite that she doesn’t stop him as his head leans forward and he is inches from her lips when the sound of a motorcycle breaks them apart.

…

Later that evening, Lip is filling up the dish washer as Cheyenne sits at the breakfast bar and polishes off her glass of wine. Jax only stayed for an hour after Lip and Isla returned from their outing. Isla had easily roped her aunt into watching a TV show while Lip had roped Jax into coming into the garage to work on his bike. Lip had ordered them some pizza and now Isla was back into her room talking to Ellie.

“So why was Jax here earlier?” Lip asks his sister.

“I don’t know. He just stopped by.” Cheyenne replies.

“So is this going to be a regular occurrence for him to just drop by?” Lip asks as he closes the door to the dishwasher.

“Why do I feel like I am about to be scolded.” Cheyenne says to him. “If there is a problem between you and Jax keep me out of it Lip.”

“I want to know what’s going on between the two of you.”

“Nothing. He just stopped by, Lip.” Cheyenne tells him because there is nothing going on between her and Jax now.

“Jax doesn’t just stop by at people’s places, Chey.”

“Lip, you do realize that Jax and I grew up together.” She points out.

“I also know that you filled out more since you were 18.” Lip presses.

“So that’s what this is? You think I’m screwing around with your friend?” Cheyenne says heatedly.  She thinks it rich coming from the man that is screwing her best friend. “If you haven’t noticed Lip, I’m a grown woman.”

Lip sighs and runs his hands down his face.  “Look, I know how close the two of you were when you were younger. I can admit I was slightly jealous, but that was my fault for being wrapped up with Nina and everything else. It’s just Jax…he has a very vivid history with women and you’re not 12 years old anymore. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Well I appreciate the concern, but Jax and I are just friends, Lip.” She insists.

…

Much to her better judgement and displeasure to Lip and Isla, Cheyenne finds herself attending the regular party at the clubhouse on Friday. Of course, she did drag along Fawn, who only grumbled about coming for the free booze. Cheyenne thinks Fawn didn’t just want to see Lip receive any attention from croweaters.

Giving her customary greetings to Gemma, Clay, and the rest of the guys, she found herself swooped up into multiple games of pool. Cheyenne has to keep herself from rolling her eyes at how easy it is to swindle men with the right time of the swing of the hips as she keeps pocketing money.

However, she finds her winning streak coming to an end when croweaters grab the attention of the men. She finds her culprit of the croweater parade to be nursing a bottle of beer at the bar.

Cheyenne walks over to the bar and crosses her arms.

“Thanks for ruining my game.”

Jax lips tug up. “Hey you will lose to the promise of free pussy every time.”

Cheyenne pinches her nose in disgust as she takes a seat next to Jax. She soon finds a wine cooler placed in front of her from the new Prospect. “Thanks, Kip.”

The young man gives her a goofy smile and his cheeks flush pink.  “Your welcome, Chey-Cheyenne.”

“Hey, Sack don’t you have some throw up to clean.” Jax calls out.

The boy’s smile darkens and he hustles off to the other end of the bar. Cheyenne punches Jax in the shoulder.

“Hey, I thought doctors had a do no harm order here.”

“You didn’t have to be so mean.”

“He’s supposed to fear the reaper, Chey. We all paid our dues.”

“Still, he’s nice and it’s Friday. Give him a break.”

“Didn’t know you were so concerned with the Prospect.”

Cheyenne rolls her eyes and doesn’t give Jax a response. Instead, she looks out into the sea of leather and lace and realizes she doesn’t see Fawn.

“Have you seen Fawn?”

“She’s probably up on the roof fucking Lip.” Jax states.

“Jax!” Cheyenne says exasperated with his lack of filter.

“What! It’s true.”

Cheyenne slaps her hand to her face.

“So you having fun?” Jax asks her.

Cheyenne shrugs her shoulders. “I mean nothing has really changed since I was younger.” And it was true and she also knows as the night goes on it turns into a Cara Cara studio production and she has no interest in being exposed to that.

Cheyenne freezes momentarily as she feels Jax move closer and his breath fans across her neck. “You look good by the way.”

Cheyenne tilts her head away from Jax and looks into his blue eyes. He doesn’t break eye contact even as he leans back and pulls out a cigarette and lights it. She breaks eye contact as she folds her arms together. Despite her words, she doesn’t find her skin tight black long-sleeved U shaped neckline shirt with her jeans with holes in her knees paired with strappy heels something exactly sexy. She also doesn’t know how she feels with those words coming out of Jax’s lips.

Thankfully, Fawn returns with red, swollen lips, which Cheyenne doesn’t point out, and takes her to the dance floor. Cheyenne doesn’t dare to look back at Jax.

…

Jax sits at the bar and does his best not to focus too much on Cheyenne as she and Fawn dance in his opinion quite provocatively against each other. The two even managed to rope in his mom and Luann for a quick second before the two seasoned Old Ladies retired outside. It also didn’t escape his notice how many shots Cheyenne is taking while dancing.

Jax turns his eyes back to the bar and flags Half Sack down for another drink for himself and reminds himself he needs to get his shit together.

He thinks this sudden attraction to Cheyenne is probably because he is bored with the pickings around the clubhouse, but even he can’t lie to himself. Instead of focusing on his loneliness and being a creep by watching Cheyenne throughout the night especially with Lip giving him the frequent stank eye, he forces himself to make conversation with Piney and Happy, who is visiting from Tacoma.

…

A half hour later, Jax is exiting the bathroom in his dorm, as he does not trust the public bathroom, when he steps out of his room and almost collides with another body. Exclaiming a cry of shock, the person almost stumbles onto the ground, but he catches the small figure. He doesn’t know whether to frown or smile at the state they are in.

“You okay, darlin’.” Jax asks Cheyenne as he holds her steady as she gathers her bearings.

“Just too much to drink and I was looking for the bathroom.”

“You can use mine.” He tells her as he directs her back into his dorm room.

“Thanks.” She tells him as she walks shakily on her heels.

Jax waits by the door and nods as Tig and Bobby pass by with some croweaters and go into their respective rooms. He knows the party is winding down if guys are taking the party back to their rooms. He turns his head at the sound of the bathroom door opening and watches as Cheyenne throws her paper towel in the trash.

“You headin’ home?” He asks her.

Cheyenne nods her head. “That was the plan, but I drank too much.” She tells him with a pout.

Jax motions to his bed. “You can stay here.”

“Jax,” she tells him with a frown, “I can’t.”

“It’s fine, Chey. Besides I don’t think you want to crash in any other room or the couch.”

“I can call a cab or something.”

“Chey just crash here. I can just sleep on the floor.”

Cheyenne rolls her eyes and sags against the wall. “We’re not 12, Jax.”

“So does that mean you’re staying?”

“I feel like if I wanted to leave you wouldn’t let me since you are barricading the door. Besides I told you I didn’t want to be a cock blocker.”

Jax smirks as he closes his door. “Trust me darlin’ you’re not.”

Cheyenne moves his desk chair and begins taking off her heels. He walks over to his dressers and grabs one of his shirts.

“Here, you can change into this.” He offers.

“Thanks.” She says as she grabs the shirt and heads back into the bathroom.

Jax sighs as he shakes his head and removes his kutte. He goes back to his dresser and rummages for a pair of sweats to wear to sleep since he knows it wouldn’t be exactly appropriate to just wear his boxers. He is stripping away his many layers and had just slipped the sweatpants over his hips when the bathroom door opens back up. Jax does his best to not linger on Cheyenne’s legs sticking out underneath his shirt or the fact on the top of her pile of clothes is her bra – a light blue bra covered in lace. He wonders if she still wears her cool colors.

She gives him a small smile as she places the items on the desk. She turns towards him and crosses her arms. “So which side of the bed do you prefer?”

Jax looks back down to the bed. “The left side by the door.”

Cheyenne nods her head as she lifts up the blanket. “I hope you’re sheets are clean.” She says in a teasing tone, but he knows that she’s serious.

“Don’t worry. My mom washed them.”

“Wow, I’m surprised you didn’t have Half Sack do them.”

Jax shakes his head as they slide under the bed.

Cheyenne immediately makes herself comfortable as she curls into a ball and hugs a pillow to her chest. Jax looks at her with a raised eyebrow.

She pops her eyes open. “What?”

“Nothing.” Jax tells her as he turns off the lights and tries to get comfortable and ends up laying on his side facing her.

He does his best to try not to think about Wahewa and the feel of her lips against his. He knows with nothing but his flimsy sweatpants between them it’s best not to think about the actual feel of him in her.

As if she can hear his thoughts or feel his eyes in the dark she speaks up.

 “Jax,” she warns.

“You don’t need the pillow, Chey.” He tells her.

The room is silent. Only the sound of their breathing can be heard amongst the telltale thumps and squeaks that echo around them.

It’s then he hears the rustle of the cover and a pillow hitting other ones that Cheyenne slides over to him. She rests her head on his shoulder as she lays an arm across him while he rest one around her shoulders.

 


	6. Contact

"Son of a bitch," Jax exclaims as he pulls back from the bolt that he knew was stripped. He has half the nerve to cuss out the customer. The idiot tried to handle the repairs on his own when clearly he didn't know shit about the mechanics of the vehicle. But as Clay has always drilled into him, the customer is always right.

Jax steps back from the Harley knowing that it's owner is clearly a weekend rider. He is severely tempted to overcharge the shit head. Grabbing the tools he needs, he is about to dive back into his actual day job when his mother shouts his name out from the office door.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" She asks, her face unreadable, but she is tapping her foot impatiently.

Jax nods his head. His mind, however, goes haywire as he thinks if he has done anything to piss off his mother lately. Wiping his hands clean of grease and grime, he heads into the office where his mom is sitting at her desk getting ready to light a cigarette.

"What's up?" He asks. He sits on the old couch located next to the desk that has been there since the start of SAMCRO and Teller Morrow Automotive Repairs.

"Are you going to Isla's dance recital?"

Jax frowns at the questions. He wonders why she couldn't just walk over to him in the garage and ask him that. Besides she already knew the answer. The club and his mother usually all go to Isla's dance recital to support her. He didn't know if anything changed and he wasn't on the run schedule for him to not go.

"Don't I always go?"

"But are you going for Isla or Cheyenne?" She questions him.

Jax immediately becomes defensive and he sits up straighter on the couch. He knows no one realized that Cheyenne had spent the night in his dorm. Considering she had left without even a goodbye, he knows that she had been discreet and as the guys nursed their hangovers no one made snide comments about her and him. The croweaters had not even spoken a word on what they thought. Then again no one is his mother. She is the FBI in stiletto heels. But she wasn't there all night to even see Cheyenne head down the hallways leading to the dorm. He knows for a fact his mom and Clay left early.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

His mom isn't fazed by his defensive tone. In fact, she revels in it as she leans back in her seat and puffs on her cigarette.

"I know you two been hanging out a lot." She says with a shrug of her shoulders.

"What I'm not allowed to hang out with her anymore?" He asks with furrowed brows.

"Jax Teller doesn't hang out with girls unless he's tapping them." She states.

"Jesus Christ, mom," he mutters. "It's Cheyenne."

Gemma taps her cigarette against her ash tray as she looks at her son. Sometimes she thinks he forgets she did raise his ass. She knows how he operates. She knows that her son hasn't met a pussy he hasn't liked. Gemma can also tell her son is bored by the pickings around here. She knows that he has become disinterested in the croweaters. She has heard a few of them mope around about Jax's repeated dismissal of their attention. She has seen this restless behavior before and the next thing she knew Tara Knowles was coming over for dinner.

Tara was pretty, quiet, reserved, smart, and a challenge. Something her pussy loving son wasn't used too. And she watched her son fall hard for the aspiring doctor. She watched as Tara tried to immerse herself in a world that Gemma knew she would never understand or accept. All it was for them was teenage infatuation.

Yet it gave her a clear idea of what her son looked for in an Old Lady.

She knew another woman in Charming fit that bill and it was Cheyenne Henderson.

She watched as Cheyenne grew into a beautiful woman and how Jax's eyes would look at her. She never said anything because all the guys were guilty of the same thing at one point, but she didn't think her son would be stupid to act on it.

It wasn't as if she was opposed to her son settling down and giving her a few grandbabies. It was that protective nature for her son and the club that made her skeptical. Cheyenne was away for nine years. Yes, she practically raised the girl as her own daughter. It was because of that which made her know that Cheyenne could handle the club as long as she  _chose_  too. Gemma could trust Cheyenne with the secrets of the club, well most of them. Plus, Cheyenne had ambitions that Charming couldn't contain or aid. Ambitions that have already pulled her away once.

"She's a patched member's family, Jax. What you do affects the structure of things and reputations -"

"Jesus Christ, Ma, I'm not fucking her." Jax says interrupting her. Because he wasn't. He did once, but his mother doesn't need to know that. He stands up and looks at her. "Ma, you have nothing to worry about. Believe or not, I did just actually miss her like I know you did."

Gemma seems to accept his words as she smiles. "I guess I'll let you get back to work."

…

Cheyenne is backstage as she watches the dance recital's makeup artist put the finishing touches on Isla. Cheyenne can say she is surprised with how packed the auditorium is for the dance team composed of young girls. The dance company was a recent addition to Charming 7 years ago. She knows it was something that Lip had signed Isla up for on a whim. She still remembers receiving the phone call from Lip as she tried to find tutus and how to put Isla's hair in a bun.

A smile hasn't left Isla's face since they arrived at the building where her niece was quick to introduce her to everyone.

Cheyenne was also surprised to see that Lip knew everyone and the proper names for the dance moves and even the makeup brushes.

She's standing next to her big brother, who is watching his daughter fondly, and she notices that he is without his kutte.

"No leather tonight?" She questions.

"Tonight, I'm just Isla's dad."

Soon the two of them are ushered out to their reserved seats and she notices an absent figure. She knows as much as Isla won't admit it that she was hoping her mom would show up to this recital as she is the lead in the show. The very least Nina could do was call and inform her daughter she wasn't going to show.

Yet, she knows that she will ruin her own mood if she thinks about Nina for too long. Cheyenne takes her seat next to Fawn, who is sitting next to her brother. She is looking over the program as the theme for tonight is  _Alice in Wonderland_. Cheyenne is doing her best to ignore the closeness of Fawn and Lip. How they huddle close and laugh at their own little jokes. To Cheyenne they could be the mistaken as a married couple with Fawn being the proud mother of Isla.

Luckily her attention to Fawn's laughs is diverted when a person sits in the seat next to her.

"Miss me yet?"

"What's there to miss?" Cheyenne counters as she looks into Jax's blue eyes.

"I can name a few things," Jax replies as he leans back in his seat.

She finds Piney coming down the aisle with the Prospect trailing behind him with an armful of food.

"Isla mentioned that you guys always come to these. Is it like a required duty now for patches?" She asks him.

He throws her a smile. "We have to support family. Besides if we didn't come I think my mom would shove her heels in all our asses. Besides Isla is actually really good. Lip should be proud." Jax says as he eyes the program, which includes a professional headshot of Isla.

"God, just imagine when she's a teenager. I don't think Lip will be able to handle that." Cheyenne notes.

"Will any of us? I still remember when she was in diapers."

Cheyenne feels a pang in her chest. With schooling, she didn't get to be around her niece as much as she would've liked and Jax along with the guys got to see her grow up.

Jax nudges her in the shoulder and he points to the two people next to them oblivious.

"So how long has this been going on?" She asks him.

"Ahh…well I think about a year," Jax answers. "Almost two years."

"Do they think no one knows?"

"It's like an open secret that we all choose to ignore. Besides I think Fawn's relationship with Tig factors into that."

They both don't point out the irony of her hating her father for his life with the club and now her seeing her brother who is a member of the same one.

Their conversation comes to a halt as soon Gemma, Clay, and the rest of the guys begin to sit in their reserved seats and Isla's recital begins.

…

After the recital, they all retreat to Gemma's house and surprisingly they order takeout instead of wolfing down one of Gemma's home cooked meals. Isla is stuffed between Cheyenne and Lip. Clay is at the head of the table with Gemma and Jax flanking his sides. The guys fill the chairs and Cheyenne is surprised that Gemma even has a table to fit everyone.

And Cheyenne realizes that it feels like home.

Despite her years away and loving the fast past life of San Diego, it was never home like Charming was. She doesn't even know if that scares her. Most would call Charming a dead end or as one person screamed a cesspool – backwards and small minded.

But at the end of the day, it was Charming. It was where she grew up and where her family was.

It is where she is safe and protected. Those thoughts make her drink her wine a little bit faster.

…

After dinner, the guys retire to the living room and talk shop. Gemma and Luann make their way to Gemma's greenhouse. They are most likely smoking a joint despite Isla spinning around them on her tip toes. Her niece has taken an interest in becoming a Prima Ballerina. She has plans to move to New York and dance for the New York Theatre Ballet. She can still recall Lip's face at the thought of his daughter so far away.

It's too much for Cheyenne to think about.

All she has now and just barely is her job.

She easily slips through the back door and finds herself leaning against Gemma's and Clay's garage.

Gemma's and Clay's was practically her house. She grew up here after her father disappeared and her mother decided that she and Lip weren't enough.

It's a backyard full of memories of scrapped knees, burnt food, getting soaked with water guns, and laying under the stars.

She hears the back door open and close before she hears footsteps coming her way. She thinks maybe it is going to be one of the guys too lazy to walk to the bathroom and instead pee outside. Or maybe even some of them are calling it a night.

Instead, she finds Jax.

"You know I think some people would call this stalking," she points out to him.

"Hey, you've been out here for 20 minutes." He tells her as she slides next to her on the siding.

"Really?" She says confused.

He nods his head as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. "Everything okay?"

Cheyenne folds her arms around herself and nods her head. "It's just been a while since I was around everyone. Didn't realize how much I missed." And she doesn't realize some tears have fallen until Jax's warm hand caresses her face and his thumb wipes them away.

"Hey, Chey –" He says softly, but she pulls away.

"God, I can be such an emotional drunk. It's either I'm incredibly loud and horny or a crying mess."

"Sounds like you're speaking from experience."

Cheyenne looks up and even in the darkness she can see the teasing glint in his eyes. She smacks his shoulder.

He chuckles at her and she gathers her bearings.

It's quiet – a comfortable, but charged silence between them.

Cheyenne is unsure of what to say as well as Jax. But neither move to go back into the house.

"Remember when you scraped your hand on your mom's rosebush?" She asks him as she points to the aging bush that his mom revives each season.

His hand flexes as he thinks about the scar on his right palm. "Yeah, hurt like a bitch." He replies. "But it doesn't seem much has changed. Both still here in my mom's backyard."

"I think that says more about us than anything."

"As long as you're happy is what matters."

"And are you? Happy?" Cheyenne asks him as she looks up at him.

Blue and grey clash, Jax's blue eyes are slowly consumed by his pupil's.

"I am now." He responds and she can feel the shift around them. That same energy she has felt since she was a 17 year old girl receiving her first on the side of the road. And maybe a part of her has always been there never leaving the spot. Still yearning – aching – for something she felt since that day.

Cheyenne's back bounces against the siding of the house. She stands face to face with Jax. She can hear the laughter in the house and she knows if someone wanted they could just walk outside and find her standing like this with Jax. After all it's been 20 minutes since she's been out here and she knows pretty soon Isla or even her brother will get curious.

Instead, she lets Jax walk closer to her his body pressing into her. The blonde biker leans forward, he still smells like nicotine, leather, and sandalwood. It's a smell that brings a tightening in her belly. He brushes his nose affectionately against hers, almost asking for permission, it's all the encouragement she needs.

Mouth meeting hers, Jax tilts his head to kiss her better. It's nothing like their first kiss, which was sweet and innocent. This is something else something hungry with unbridled lust. Teeth and tongue mesh in a dance. He's stubble burns her cheek a little as his velvet tongue slides along hers. He tastes like the beer he just drank and she finds it inebriating.

Jax leaves her breathless. Cheeks flushed with heaving lungs as he gropes her chest and palms her ass. She feels his fingers toy with the hem of her underwear underneath her dress. She thinks she likes the way his cool rings contrast with his warm skin against her own. She squirms when his lips move pass her lips down to her neck.

Cheyenne thinks half of the thrill of this is that they are outside and someone can see them any minute. So it's too easy for her to move her hands from his blonde hair to underneath his shirt where she runs her nails along his stomach.

She doesn't even resist when his hands go back under her dress and moves her panties to the side as his hand dips between her fold. Her arms go around his neck as he scoops her up and crowds her against the wall. His thumb assaulting her clit, she clings to his shoulders. Her leg's wrap around the outlaw's waist tighten as his fingers move faster.

"Fuck," the ebony haired doctor whines as his fingers curl right into that sweet  _sweet_  spot. Despite the haze, she begins to palm him through his jeans and an indescribable noise escapes his throat. Cheyenne presses little kisses to his jaw and throat careful not to leave any marks.

Jax knows she's close as her back begins arching off the wall and her breath seems to become harsher. He's knuckle deep inside her drilling into her in a maddening fashion as her hips desperately writher to meet his hand.

"Ah, I'm  _so_  so close," she whimpers into his shoulder before he finds himself brought into a harsh kiss. Tongues and teeth mesh and Jax finds it too intoxicating. He can feel her fingers fumbling with his belt and button of his jeans before her hands fly back up to grip his shoulders hard. Her head hits the siding off the house and her lips part in a silent cry. Eyelashes flutter as her back bows for him. He can't help, but smirk at her tired gaze before he pulls his hand from her and tastes the slick on his fingers. She watches him with hazy eyes and cheeks flushed with heaving lungs.

It seems it's all the motivation she needs as he finds their positions reversed. She sinks down to her knees as he finds himself against the siding of the house. She pushes his pants and boxers down as she kisses his abdomen in their wake.

Glancing up at his expectant gaze, she finds his pupils nearly full blown. The blue only a rim. She presses a chaste kiss to the tip and wraps her hand around him. She pumps him a few times and licks him from base to tip before her pretty yielding mouth takes him in. Wet and moist. It's instinct that his left hand tangles in her hair.

Cheyenne braces her palms on his thighs as she relaxes her throat the best she can as she slides off his length. Jax nearly whimpers at the loss thinking she's going to pull off. Instead, with one hand on his cock, she steadies him and begins a steady bobbing movement. She swallows him down to the hilt.

Jax forces himself not to close his eyes as he watches her suck him exquisitely with a burning hooded gaze. He feels her tongue swirl around his length, his hand tight in her hair, he bites his lower lip, but it doesn't stop the moan that escapes it.

At this point, he's desperate to cum. Cock aching and balls so tight Jax feels like a teenager not going to be able to survive a few more thrusts. Cheyenne moans against him and it sets him off. Her eyes shot up to him and he maintains eye contact as his body tenses and his hip does shallow bucking into her throat as she swallows every last drop.

He slumps against the garage panting.

After a moment of catching his breath, he tucks himself back into his clothes. Cheyenne moves up to stand on her shaky legs. She fixes her dress and runs her hands through her hair. He gives her a dark look as he moves towards her and kisses her. He can taste himself on her tongue and he decides that he likes that. But she pulls back from him with unseeing eyes. They're distant. It's an unfamiliar look on her face.

She moves away from him without a word as she hands back into the house.

Jax digs into his pocket for his cigarettes.


	7. Release

After the oral/fingering incident at Gemma's, Cheyenne keeps her distance.

She did her best to avoid Jax and the clubhouse by extension. It was easy picking up more shifts at St. Thomas and helping out more with Isla. She even began to drive to work or take the bus.

Cheyenne knows whatever happened between her and Jax needs to just be left alone.

After that incident, she felt dirtier than she did after Wahewa. She blamed Wahewa on the fact she was young and was going to be leaving. In her lingering innocence she blames it on the fact it was the only way at the time to felt – they both felt – was the way to showcase their relationship.

But now she isn't 18. She is 27 with a budding career as an OBGYN. Even though she's back in Charming and she did miss home, she knows down the road there was that possibility she wouldn't be satisfied with the little town. Her professor even said big hospitals even look for new recruits who go back home for a bit. It would make her even more appealing.

And a part of her knew that Charming might not be forever. It could be a small detour.

And if she even thought of entertaining the possibility of her and Jax, she knows there will come a point that Charming won't be able to offer her what she needs to ever advance in her career. She also knows that it would mean accepting all the flaws that came with Jax and the club.

And Cheyenne can say being away for so long, and just knowing when she was younger she had plans to go to college, she never thought heavily on the lifestyle she grew up in. Sure, she held the hesitance of calling police and had a stash of burners. But she never thought of the sacrifices that came along with this lifestyle. She lived right on the edge that she wasn't that affected about the men's criminal empire.

And she knew with Jax that would follow her personally and professionally. Yet, she only thought of this if she would ever entertain her and Jax being a thing.

Yet, today, she knows she will have to face the consequences of another little tryst with Jax as its Opie's homecoming.

She along with Fawn and some croweaters are setting up the place while Gemma is out buying all the food and booze they need. The guys are nowhere to be found, which isn't surprising.

However as she and Fawn move tables and decorate them, her gaze keeps going back to the mug shots that were proudly on display that showcased present and past members.

All of this just felt wrong to her. Despite 9 years of absence, she didn't need to be here to know about Donna's hatred toward the club.

"Why is your face all scrunched up?" Fawn asks her as she wipes down a table with Lysol wipes. Cheyenne thinks these tables need to be soaked in bleach for them to really be clean.

Luckily, they are the only two inside. The croweaters have scurried off to the front and maybe the back bedrooms.

"Doesn't all this seem wrong?"

Fawn frowns. "Throwing Opie a party?"

Cheyenne shakes her head. "Throwing the party here."

It doesn't seem right that Opie will be spending most of the day here at the clubhouse when he needs to be a home with Donna and the kids. Inevitably it's just going to put Donna on the spot in confronting her feelings about her husband being home and what the means for him and his relationship with the club. Besides, there were two kids who didn't really know their father and they would be seeing everyone else being happy about his return when they really didn't have a reason why.

For a moment, Cheyenne thinks Fawn would be on Donna's side, but her words prove otherwise. "Donna knew who she was marrying. If she was really unhappy she would've left five years ago."

Cheyenne looks at her friend and thinks she's is a complicated mess. And as much as she loves her friend, she wants to open her mouth about the fact she and her brother would never work between. Fawn is too much of a constant push and pull. She wants to ask what is keeping Fawn here as all there seems to be is anger towards an absent father and her meager job as a waitress at Lumpy's.

"It isn't that simple." Cheyenne tells her. There are kids in the mix. History that Donna has to fight to face the present, but most importantly it's her heart fighting a battle. "Love isn't that simple. It's complicated and messy."

"Sounds like you're speaking from experience."

Cheyenne shakes her head because she wasn't. She believes she never really experienced a relationship that had some intense burning love. She has only received headaches from men. But she grew up around other couples. "I've had experience in seeing a lot of relationships."

Fawn bites her lip as she leans against a table. "Is that what makes Lip and Nina so difficult."

Cheyenne looks at her friend cautiously. This is the first time Fawn has ever mentioned Lip and Nina in the same sentence. Cheyenne knows that it would be the perfect time to ask Fawn about what she is doing with Lip, but she doesn't.

"I think Lip doesn't know how to separate the love he has for Nina for giving him Isla to just Nina herself. Those two seem to be interconnected." She tells her friend.

Cheyenne also thinks her brother hates himself for loving Nina in a way that matters. The way they grew up watching their mother and father.

Their conversation comes to a halt as Half Sack comes in carrying a box of booze followed by a blonde biker Cheyenne was doing everything in her power to avoid.

"How you girls doing?" Jax asks as he looks between the two of them. She purposefully makes herself look busy scrubbing a table.

"I think you guys need to audition more croweaters," Fawn chirps as she looks at the empty bottle of Lysol wipes. "Ugh, Half Sack, you're coming with me. We need some more cleaning supplies."

"I don't know why you guys are scrubbing things down, it's only going to get dirty again," Jax points out.

"One this is a family orientated event we don't need to be sitting on my long lost kids from you guys," Fawn quips. "You boys are fucking disgusting."

Cheyenne doesn't even hide her grimace at Fawn's words.

"Fawn do you even know half of the weird shit your dad does?" Jax counters and eyes the bar where even Cheyenne cringes at. Cheyenne does not want to know what Tig has done to that bar.

"What dad are you talking about?" Fawn remarks innocently as she grabs her purse and drags the Prospect out the door.

Just like that she is left alone with Jax. Just her fucking luck, she thinks.

Luckily, she still has a few wipes left and she begins cleaning the tables, but she can feel Jax's eyes on her every move.

"Are you going to continue to stare or you going to say something?" She says. She thinks she has never seen the clubhouse so empty and deserted.

"I don't want things to be weird." Jax starts. "I also don't want you to think I'm treating you like some sort of sweetbutt."

"Jax, I was a willing participate of what happened." She replies.

"Do you think about what happened at Wahewa?" He asks her.

"If I didn't I don't think we would be where we are now." She tells him. Despite the distance and seeing him over holiday breaks, it was always in the back of her mind. "Do you?"

"More than I should." He answers her.

Cheyenne plays with the lid of the Lysol canister. "I don't want to mess up our friendship Jax because of whatever the fuck we're doing."

"What are we doing?"

"I don't fucking know that's the problem," she tells him.

They both can tell this conversation is going nowhere and right now in such a public space isn't exactly a good time to hash out their feelings. Instead Jax runs a hand down his face before he turns back to look at her. "I'm going down to Chino with Donna to pick up Opie. After the party and stuff, we should talk."

Cheyenne nods her head stiffly. After all, his dick was in her mouth and they already had sex, the least she could do was have an adult conversation.

"Jax," she calls out to him as he heads to the door.

"Yeah?"

"Ride safe."

"Always."

…

Harry Winston is a free fucking man.

After five years in Chino Correctional Facility, Opie is free from prison bars, shitty food, and washing skids from underwear. Now he is about to be back in Charming free from having to watch where he took his piss and shit.

He is finally reunited with his family and even if his kids looked at him like a stranger and Donna didn't know whether to hug him or slap him, he would take that any day over rotting another day in a jail cell. But the one thing that hadn't left him and he knows wouldn't be going away soon is his insomnia. He doesn't know if it is just the excitement from his release, or the fact his mind is going haywire about where his life is going to go after this and what his release meant for his family.

But sleeping with one eye open every night, despite the protections of the Nords, is probably the cause of his restlessness.

Despite not wanting to leave his family in the motel room, he thinks he can use a smoke. Relax some of his nerves. Besides he doesn't have to trade the beloved sticks of nicotine for contraband.

He steps outside onto the balcony and he surprised to find Jax up smoking a cigarette.

"Hey," Jax greets after taking a long drag of his cigarette. Thankfully they can skip the formalities of asking how he feels to be out and all the other bullshit. They both did time and Jax knows how he feels. How it feels to taste freedom again.

Instead Opie asks about the one thing he can while Donna is asleep. "How's the club?"

Jax levels him with a look that he can't probably read in the moonlight. "Business is the usual. It's quiet outside of the Mayans occasionally wanting to show whose dick is bigger, but nothing that could get us on the Feds radar."

"How's Charming?"

"Hale looks for any opening he can do bring some franchise or development, but it fails every time. Although Cheyenne's back." Jax tells him with a smile.

Opie flashes his own teeth at the thought of Cheyenne, a girl who was much like the sister he never had. She hadn't been able to see him in the past few months as she told him that she was busy racking up hours for her residency.

Despite living for her visits, he couldn't begrudge her. After all, she has become a fucking doctor. He is proud of her.

"Maybe we should all head to the cabin. Enjoy the Pollyanna phase of my release before it's back to reality."

Jax nods his head and he looks back to the motel room that encases the Winston family. "That'll work itself out, bro."

"I hope so," Opie mutters as he tries not to think of Donna's cold gaze as Jax handed him his leather kutte.

…

Cheyenne is sitting on Lip's bed as he lathers himself down in some lotion and after shave. Cheyenne is already dressed up in a red backless dress with skinny straps, a high rounded neckline that crisscross and tie over an alluring open back with scalloped trim. It's an outfit that she knows it probably going to be the most conservative.

Lip is already in his usual jeans and plan navy t-shirt.

Isla has decided she wanted to spend the day with Gemma and would meet them at the clubhouse.

"Does the situation with Opie worry you especially since you have Isla?"

Nina isn't a suitable caregiver and if her brother would get locked up there is a chance that if Nina ever got her shit together it could be used against him. Luckily the only time Lip was locked up was when Nina was sober for once and Isla was two years old.

Lip nods his head. "I do. But it gives me a good reason not to do stupid reckless shit. Club has been quiet, Chey."

"It won't always be, Lip." She informs her brother. Once in a while a storm will have to brew before it regresses back to normal. "Besides, I'm not just talking about the obvious jail time. She's going to question you on the club and what you do."

"You think I don't know that," Lip snaps. "You don't think I already don't know she knows who her father is."

Cheyenne frowns as she doesn't mean to upset her brother, but he needs to hear this especially if Isla is so close to the Winston family. "There's going to come a chance where someone else will tell the truth before you."

"Where is this all coming from?"

Cheyenne honestly doesn't know, but its truth that inevitable. "Donna seems so sad." She tells him as she thinks of the prison widow. The short brunette woman always looks sad, angry, and lonely. "Nina was sad." She points out and her brother can't hide the wince.

Cheyenne fully believes that the sin of Nina continually shooting up drugs is on her. Yet, they can't overlook what makes her turn to $40 fixes then her own husband. The causes of why she prefers drugs over him and their daughter. Cheyenne could bet the club plays a role in that. After all as much as she loves her brother and supports him, he has flaws and faults that destroyed their doomed marriage. "It's the women that inevitably suffer not the men." She says to him.

…

Gemma can say she is honestly impressed with how well Cheyenne and Fawn cleaned the place up for Opie's homecoming / 4th of July party. She could say it was nice for once to step back and not be in control of this. Besides it wasn't as if the efforts would be appreciated.

Gemma never had a problem with Donna per say. After all, the women didn't bail and when the ATF swooped in after flagging Opie's connection to the club, she didn't rat or budge. And Donna earned more respect from Gemma. Even if Donna wouldn't acknowledge it, she was an old lady through and through. She thinks that's why Donna is so angry because she has become what she swore she wouldn't be.

But after five years, Gemma is done psychoanalyzing Donna Winston. Opie's home now and the concern for his family are back in his hands. She loves Ope, but this situation isn't something she could interfere with. It wasn't her place, for now. If their shit started affecting the club then she would nub that shit in the bub.

Besides, Gemma is more concerned for the new, but familiar face back on the lot. Since Cheyenne's return, she hasn't really gotten to have one on one time with the girl she practically raised like her own flesh and blood.

It wasn't as if Cheyenne is drastically different. She is the same girl for the most part, quiet and reserved. But Gemma isn't blind. Cheyenne now possesses a body of a woman. Black long hair with bright wide and round grey eyes and even worse she has fucking brains.

It is a combination that is deadly to her son.

She knew the two of them were close when they were young. Always had been, but she isn't blind to how Jax eyes her as she grew up. They were always too in sync with each other. Gemma felt like she didn't know everything that was going on between the two. That scared her. With Lip, he is an easy book to read. Cheyenne is an enigma. You never knew what was going on unless she wanted you to know.

Besides she isn't blind to the fact that after Isla's dance recital the two had disappeared and when Chey returned she looked a little flush. She would like to think Jax wouldn't screw around with Cheyenne considering Lip was a patched member, but she knew it would fit the MO of her son.

Gemma finds the raven hair beauty standing in a corner watching the party. She sort of sticks out wearing a bright wear sundress that showcase toned legs and her curves, for a minute she looks like her mother.

God, Gemma hasn't thought about Cheryl Darabont in years. She remembers Cheryl doing the same thing with standing in corners of parties watching everyone. It wasn't until Lionel she finally moved from the corner and the rest they say is history. Dead history.

"Enjoying the party?" Gemma asks.

"Reminds me of when I was a kid. Everyone is just waiting for the families to leave so the real party can start."

Gemma chuckles at that. "Thanks for helping set up. You and Fawn did great."

"You don't need to thank me. It was for Opie."

"Jax mentioned you used to go visit Opie in Chino." Gemma says.

Cheyenne nods her head. "Well Opie is like a brother and it wasn't a far ride. I tried my best to make sure he knew he still had people on the outside."

"You know we're real proud of you sweetheart," Gemma tells her truthfully. "And I'm glad you returned back home, I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision."

A look passes through Cheyenne's eyes and Gemma would have missed it if she wasn't trying to read something off Cheyenne. "It was actually fairly easy." Cheyenne replies as she looks back at the party. "You know Donna is looking pretty lonely, I'm going to go see if she's alright."

Gemma lets her leave without any resistance and she makes a note to remind herself to dig into Cheyenne's happenings down in college.

…

Cheyenne free from Gemma walks over to Donna, who is standing by the jukebox; there is a slightly sour look on her face. Cheyenne grabs a soda can and when she reaches the brunette offers it to her.

She knows that Donna is uncomfortable with the party. The clubhouse is the last place Donna wants to be, but she knows that right now is not the time to cause a scene or to begin washing her and Opie's dirty laundry. After all, it's only been 24 hours since he was released. What she feels now may not be there in two weeks. Although she imagines five years of anger and bitter resentment won't disappear so easily if Donna's behavior is any indication.

"You doing okay?" Cheyenne asks her.

"Actually I'm good for now. I can make it a couple more hours." Donna replies. "Besides, the kids are having fun and I won't have to cook tonight."

"Well you're entitled to all the leftovers."

"After watching Tig double dip in everything, I'll pass." Both Donna and Cheyenne chuckle.

Donna fiddles with the pop can. "So I hear we're going to the cabin tonight."

"Huh?" Cheyenne says confused.

"Jax must've not told you."

"Told me what?"

"We're all supposed to be heading to the cabin. Me and Ope, you and Jax, Lip and Fawn –"

"I heard my name," Fawn says jumping into the conversation.

"Apparently, we're going to the cabin tonight." Cheyenne states.

"Oh yeah, for old time sake," Fawn says. "It'll be fun and the preferred party honestly. Besides, you should try and find someone to bring." Fawn says winking at her.

"What?"

Fawn stands next to Cheyenne and wraps her arms around her shoulder. Cheyenne looks at Donna with a raised eyebrow, but the mother of two shrugs her shoulders.

"Cheyenne, you come in here wearing red giving all these guy's hard-ons, knowing that they are not brave enough to approach."

Cheyenne rolls her eyes. "You're being ridiculous."

"No I'm not," Fawn insists and looks at Donna for to back her up.

Donna eventually shrugs her shoulders.

Fawn sighs. "When's the last time you had a good fuck?"

Donna coughs on her soda.

"Oh, Jesus, Fawn. Really?" Cheyenne groans as she rolls her eyes. She doesn't even give her friend a response as she scans the party and feeling a pair of eyes on her, they connect with the cool blue ones of Jax's.

…

A couple hours later, Cheyenne finds herself outside in the woods, an almost two hours outside of Charming. Cheyenne at first thought they were going to go to Piney's cabin, but Fawn snorted as she drove to the secluded cabin.

Cheyenne leans forward as she gathers some of the warmth from the fire pit. Donna is wrapped up in Opie's arms and for the first time that night, the couple look relaxed. Fawn and Lip are next to each other. Legs brushing together and Cheyenne rolls her eyes as the two are often caught in long hooded stares.

She's next to Jax, who is sitting upright intent on rolling a joint. They all talk and laugh about the past. The various shit Lip, Opie, and Jax would get themselves into despite knowing nothing got past Jax's drill sergeant of a mother. Of course, Cheyenne's and Fawn's dirty laundry got aired and considering Fawn's sperm donor, there is some crazy shit Cheyenne got mixed up into because of association instead of doing. Cheyenne can still remember sitting in the Principal's office with Gemma, Tig, and Fawn with Martha Wheeler and her mother Gretchen. Cheyenne and Fawn were accused of filling the girl's locker with honey and rigging shaving cream mixed with food dye to spray in her face. Till this day neither of them had ever copped to doing the deed despite receiving a two weeks' worth of detention.

Soon, Jax passes his joint around and the night gets darker and despite loosened tongues from the weed and alcohol, they stick to talking about the past as the present seems too heavy to discuss. And Cheyenne finds she is okay with that.

But soon Donna and Opie are claiming they want to take advantage of Neeta watching the kids at Gemma's. The reunited couple bid goodbye to make most of the rest of their night. Cheyenne isn't surprised that Lip claims that Fawn needs an escort and Fawn is all too eager to agree.

Then it's just her and Jax, but she isn't ready to go back to Charming. Not yet at least. She says as much to Jax as they move the party of two back inside.

Cheyenne grabs them a couple beers from the fridge and Jax is lighting up the fireplace more for the light than the warmth.

"Too bad we don't have any marshmallows and chocolate," she tells him as she sits on the couch.

"I'll make sure to have the Prospect bring some up here for the future." Jax replies as he plops down on the couch.

"When was the last time this place was even used?" She asks as she eyes the dusty furniture.

"Not for a while. Piney sometimes disappears up here, but you know he ain't cleaning shit." Jax tells her, which she agrees on.

She leans her head back on the couch as she plays with the tab of her beer. "Donna seemed more relax when we were here than the clubhouse." She points out.

"I think my mom puts her on edge." Jax says truthfully. And he knows how his mom is when it comes to the club and with how Donna was acting she didn't exactly hide how she felt about it.

"I know since I was away…I don't really know the struggle she went through, but I hope they can work it out for themselves."

Jax nods his head as he agrees on that. He knows five years was a long time for his brother and that he is also a different man. But he looks at Cheyenne and furrows his brows. "You know you never talk about your time away."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I thought you would talk about some of the friends you made, professors…maybe for you to brag, I guess." He tells her even though he knows Cheyenne was never the type to brag. He just thought he would hear more because it wasn't as if he wasn't asking for details. "Lip used to considering all the offers you were supposedly getting down there. I think he even tracked down one of those journals you were published in."

"It was school, Jax. Not much to brag about." Cheyenne replies. "Plus nothing exciting really happened."

It wasn't home.

"No friends?" He ponders.

"I did have a few close ones," she says and she shakes her head. She had a lot of friends and colleagues, but she knows her abrupt departure fractured some of that. And she knows how fast gossip ran through hospitals and she could only imagine what was being said. Since she came home, she tried her best not to think about the driving force that drew her back home and to pull her plug on her residency for Charming.

"What happened?"

"I came home, Jax." She tells him and she shivers at memories she does her best to block away. Because she's home and safe. And she does her best not to think about how being with Jax is the safest she felt in a long time.

"You cold?" Jax asks mistaking the shudder of memories for coldness.

"Maybe a little." She tells him.

Jax brings his arm around her and some of the tension of the memories leaves her body. She thinks Jax's body is too comfortable and right now would be the perfect time to talk about their heated moments of their relationship. But neither of them seems in a hurry to break the silence.

Instead, his hands run through her hair and she knows if she was a cat she would be purring as she moves closer to him.

Jax fights back the smile as Cheyenne seems to melt into him. He likes how easily she seems to melt into him as he drifts from her long black hair to her shoulders and exposed back thanks to her dress.

Jax leans his head down as he looks at her. He has always known that Cheyenne was beautiful. Even when she was a little girl, she possessed something that they all knew would cause hell when she grew up. But now, she is something fierce that went along with her beauty. She is something that he knows no man, including him, would be able to possess or own. His hand that is rubbing soothing patterns on her shoulder trails up and tangles in her hair. He tilts her head so she's looking at him cheeks flushed from their drinks and maybe a bit of something else. He knows this is too dangerous for them being left alone in a whole cabin together.

"Ready for bed?" He asks her lowly. His eyes trail from her lips to her grey eyes.

"To go to bed or to go to sleep?" She replies boldly. All inhibitions go straight out the fucking window.

Lips clash desperately together. She welcomes the kiss readily. She tastes sweet, intoxicating, and his memory surfaces from a couple weeks ago and then back to Wahewa. But even before that when she was still only 17 and innocent. It's familiar, but yet still different.

Wrapping his arm around her waist, he brings her to his lap, straddling him, thighs encasing him.

His warm hand creeps under her dress. He gropes her above the thin lacy fabric of her panties. Cheyenne moans into his mouth. Her hands are anchored in his long blonde tresses.

His fingers skim over her hips and she jumps when he pushes the lacy boy shorts to the side and pets her clit. She buries her face into his neck as he eases steadily between her folds. Her hips are quivering as she matches the slow pace of his fingers.

Her lips travel across his jaw and down his neck as her hands come down and begin to pop open the button of his jeans. He can tell she is insistent about removing his clothes, but they go unheeded as he speeds up his pace, he can feel her eyelashes fluttering against his neck. Her body begins to coil and he brings her head up as he brings her into a burning and bruising kiss as he feels the flutter of her walls.

She falls boneless against him as he fingers her to completion. He peppers her skin with kisses and lovebites. When her cumbersome dress gets in the way, he easily unzips it and watches as it falls down her shoulders revealing her bare chest, nipples pebbled they almost look painful. Jax licks his lips at this. She sits upright as she drops her arms and the dress falls completely until it is scrunched up her lower abdomen and her thighs.

His hand comes back up and clutches her face, and molds their mouths together. She easily indulges him as his tongue darts in her mouth, swiping against her own.

But she pushes him back against the couch and he easily let's her take control as she tugs his kutte off and many layers leaving him in just his jeans. Her grey eyes are set ablaze with lust as she yanks him back to her in a hungry kiss, tongue invading his mouth. Her hips grind against him and when he is about to flip their position on the couch, she pulls back from his lips, hers swollen and voice husky, "Take me to bed?"

He doesn't need to be asked twice.

Cheyenne clings to his shoulder as he picks her up and she kisses him silly as he makes the short trek to one of the bedrooms. He almost abandons the search for the bed for the comfort of the wooden floor as she nips on his lips and he can feel her wetness against his belly.

Reaching a room, he plops her onto the bed. Her back bounces against the lumpy, old mattress as the springs protest as Jax covers her. He pulls her dress off her and collects her panties and throws them to the floor.

Cheyenne frees him from his constricting gear and along with his jeans his black briefs find a home on the floor as he kicks them off along with his shoes and socks. She pulls him plush against her and he eases between her thighs.

She chokes out a moan as she tilts her hips to meet his as he fills her up. Jax chuckles at the sound and presses kisses to her vibrant neck. He thinks she feels even better than he fucking remembered as she uses her muscle to squeeze. "Shit, Chey," he groans as he tries not to bust his load right there and then. He looks down at her hair flared across the pillow, lips red and swollen, with purple and red bites littering her neck. Jax thinks he is one fucking lucky man. He brings her into a long, slow kiss that is surprisingly gentle.

Cheyenne sighs into his mouth as his pelvis crashes into her own. He has a bruising grip on her hip as he goes back to leaving little red hickies on the swells of her breasts. The pace feels experimental as if he is trying to find the rhythm that's right for them. Cheyenne thinks this is different from Wahewa, where he was more rough and desperate.

"Jax," she moans as despite him making her fill full, she needs some more. Jax seems to sense that.

Soon Jax changes their position as he moves her leg from his waist up to his shoulder and sets a punishing pace. Cheyenne eyes practically roll to the back of her head. "Shit," she stutters out from the angle of his thrusts.

He presses a kiss to her pulse point from where his head is buried in her neck. "Fuck," he curses as he slams into her G-Spot, her tight heat encasing him.

Each thrust of his hips shakes her body beneath him. She's so damn close as her quads quiver from their position. She's right on the edge of oblivion when he brings her knees flush against her chest and sends her to a vicious orgasm. Her vision is blurry and her head spins, but he fucks her straight through it all. He captures her mouth in a searing kiss and she swallows his blissful moan as he finds his release. She's overstimulated and shuddering as his hips do shallow thrusts and the feel of him filling her up.

Her chest burns desperate for air as he goes rigid on top of her and crumples into her chest as if he simply belongs there – fits there.

But her mind doesn't venture too far as sleep possesses her body.

…

Cheyenne wakes up feeling sore and crinkles her nose at the assault of stale linen. But, she finds that wasn't what woke her up; it was the pressing of her bladder. It's then she recognizes her surroundings and the arm draped across her waist and the source of her soreness.

Luckily, she knows that Jax is a deep sleeper when his guard is down. She's easily able to crawl out from under his arm and sneak into the bathroom. She relieves her bladder, but she cringes at the state of her body or more so the mess between her thighs.

After waking up from the first round, Cheyenne had dashed up from the bed to pee and clean the mess. When she came back from the bathroom, she found Jax awake laying in the bed, climbing back into bed, he then proceeded to spend the next thirty minutes fucking her.

She knows that the two of them have just created a bigger mess for themselves. But for now she decides the only thing she needs to focus on is a shower.

Feeling fresh and renewed and not like the personal cum dumpster of Jax Teller, with a towel wrapped around her body, she heads back into the bedroom where Jax is still sleeping softly. She finds her dress on the floor and slips it over her heated skin.

She unsure of whether she should wake him up or let him sleep, but her cowardliness gets the best of her as she thinks she can use some time for herself so she can think about the next course of action. She leaves the bedroom and heads down the hallway and into the living room where she finds her underwear and Jax's shirt and kutte. She folds his shirt and places it on the coffee table and lays his kutte across from it. Considering her only ride out of here is on the back of Jax's bike, she puts her underwear back on.

"I think they look better off."

Cheyenne jumps as she flattens her skirt at the sound of his husky voice laden with sleep. Thankfully he decided to slip his boxers and jeans on.

With him shirtless, she eyes the group of hickeys on his neck. Her neck looks even worse.

"How you feeling?" He asks her.

"Fine. You?"

"I feel like a leper," he tells her with a teasing glint as he eyes the work he has done on her.

"My chest is even worse." She tells him.

"I would say I was sorry," he says unapologetically.

Cheyenne folds her arms across her chest. "I don't want to reduce what happened or has happened as a mistake."

He nods his head and he looks away his face scrunched in thought before he turns back to her. "Where does this go, Chey?"

"I don't know." She tells him with a frown. "But until we do…I don't think…I don't think I can be alone with you."


	8. Results

"I feel bad for lying." Fawn tells Lip as they lay in her bed in her apartment.

If there was one thing Fawn hated most then anything in this world was lies.

She remembers growing up and hearing every lie her father would spew to her mother for the club. She can remember the fights that would start as her mom would always dig and dig for the truth. She thinks her parents could've lasted if Tig would've just been truthful. He didn't need to be faithful all her mom wanted was the truths.

But she knows with the club, everything is wrapped in lies. What's worse is they are so good with spewing lies like they are the Gospel truth.

And she knows Lip doesn't tell her the truth either. She knows that she isn't entitled to them. After all, she isn't his old lady.

Lip moves next to her as he runs his hands through his growing hair. He squints at the clock and sighs as he plops back down on the bed.

"Not everyone needs to know our business," he tells her as he closes his eyes again.

Fawn rolls her eyes and has the nerve to kick him out of her bed. She has half the nerve to ask if that's what he tells himself when it comes to keeping things under wraps from his sister.

Fawn herself wonders when she even found herself being some dirty little secret or worse a booty call. She personally didn't care about the club politics of her being a member's daughter and him being a member. She was quite vocal with Lip that club shit was practically irrelevant to her.

Fawn keeps her lips sealed as she leans up and grabs her pack of cigarettes and lights up. She thinks maybe she needs to find an actual boyfriend. Or better yet actually make something out of her life. All she has is her job at the diner and she can waitress anywhere. Better yet, she can get way better tips probably anywhere better than Charming.

Instead, for some sentimental bullshit reasons, she decided to stay here with the makeshift family she has only ever known. Besides, she couldn't see herself living with her crazy ass mother and sister.

But now she is going to be hitting 30 in a few short years. She has no personal accomplishments she is exactly proud of. No man or family to show off. And she lives in a crummy apartment.

All she has is Isla and now Cheyenne. Even then Isla isn't even her own daughter and Cheyenne has her blossoming career. Fawn personally thinks Charming is a small detour before Cheyenne finds something better. Her friend just doesn't realize it yet.

Thinking about her friend, she is reminded that she hasn't spoken to her since Opie's welcome home party. She is reminded that her friend was left alone with Jax.

Fawn sucks on her cigarette a little harder as she thinks about the Prince of Charming. She doesn't know how no one else cannot see it that he's been circling around Cheyenne. Ever since Cheyenne got a pair of tits, Fawn has noticed Jax can't keep his eyes to her face.

Cheyenne, of course, was a little harder to read and never shown any real interest in Jax. But Jax had a silver tongue and she wouldn't be surprised if her friend did fall victim to it.

God, Fawn thinks she must be bored if she is even thinking that Jax and Cheyenne were fucking.

"You're thinking pretty hard over there."

Fawn looks down at Lip. She thinks if Jax and Cheyenne were really fucking Jax wouldn't hide it. Better yet, Cheyenne wouldn't have to worry about an ex-wife.

In that moment, Fawn decides she can't do this anymore. She needs something more than just fucking. She sits all the way up and puts out her cigarette in the ashtray. She brings up her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around her shins.

Lip is a beautiful man. She doesn't remember his parents much, but from pictures he resembles his father the most especially in body. Fawn bites her bottom lip as Lip is truly specimen of a man. He is actually the most muscular member of the club. And damn she loves how big his tattoo muscular arms are. The things his pouty lips are capable of and despite his self-consciousness about them, she even likes his big pointy ears.

But despite all that he technically wasn't hers.

She knows about the other women – the croweaters, swettbutts. They don't sting as bad. In fact, considering the situation, they don't bother her. It wasn't as if Lip flaunted it, the only reason she did know was because men gossiped worse than women. The only thing that would hurt her the most is if he is still messing around with Nina.

And right there, now she knows how all this started the actual start. It all could be pinpointed back to Nina.

Everyone knew about the tragedy of Lip's and Nina's marriage, but most of all knew the child that was stuck witnessing the mess.

Even if Fawn hated the club, it didn't mean she didn't love the men that grew up with her. And she knows how it is to grow up witnessing a mess of a marriage. So it wasn't hard for her to volunteer to help out with Isla.

With helping out, it meant seeing a different side of Lip or better yet getting to know the side of Lip she hadn't seen before Nina.

And it was after another one of Nina's overdose as it had been years since Lip had even shared a bed with her that she found Lip on her doorstep in the middle of the night. And she let him in.

Despite that she found herself not asking about his estranged wife. Instead, she got used to Lip seeking her out when Nina would do something to piss him off. So there was no point in even asking.

"How's Nina doing these days?" She asks him.

He visibly recoils from the question. "Why in the fuck would you ask me that?"

"You're still married Lip," Fawn points out.

"Yeah, thanks for that fucking reminder." He grumbles as he swings his legs off the bed.

"I just want to know where things are going Lip." She tells him.

"With her or you?" He asks as he searches for his clothes.

"Both."

Lip looks at her as he belts his belts. "Why are you doing this now?"

"The real question is why I haven't done it sooner."

"You know how I feel about Nina."

"No, I don't," Fawn replies. "I don't know shit about how you feel about her."

Lip snorts. "Oh that's fucking rich. If you think I had an ounce of feelings for her that I would be here with you."

"Right now, I'm no different than a fucking croweater and you can still fuck someone who you don't have feelings for. If you would like to know it doesn't take much to get your dick hard." Fawn growls.

"Fuck you, Fawn." Lip barks as he throws on his shirt on.

"Funny, I did that last night."

"Why are you being such a fucking bitch," he mutters and his eyes soften just a little.

"Do you still love her, Lip?"

"The fact you even have to ask that…" Lip says and then trails off.

Fawn looks away from him. "You should just go."

He does.

…

Lip thinks he is just going to stay single for the rest of his miserable life. Women are just not his niche or maybe Nina just ruined him and his way to properly function in one. He angrily stalks into the clubhouse and he finds Jax sitting at the bar jerking the Prospect's chain. He lets the doors slam behind him and Jax turns over to look at him with a raised brow. He plops down on the barstool and tells the Prospect to just give him a whole bottle of Vodka.

He doesn't even care that Jax motions for the Prospect to get lost. From the corner of his eye, he can see Jax eye him.

Lip sighs. "Ask what you fucking want."

Jax raises his eyebrows and knows that the only reason he would let Lip talk to him that way is because both of them grew up as brothers.

He also knows that can't be about Nina.

"Is it Fawn?"

Lip's back straightens as this is the first time anyone has directly acknowledged him and Fawn being something.

"I don't know what the fuck to do when it comes to women," Lip admits.

"What happened?"

"She was just asking what we were and shit and it just escalated."

"Are you guys together?" Jax asks.

Lip sighs. "In a way. It's complicated. She's complicated."

"Do you love her?"

Lip blows a raspberry as he leans forward and rubs his hands together. "You know Cheyenne said something to me the other day about the struggles women face being with us. It's not easy Jax and we both know that. I love Fawn to know that she deserves better."

Jax shakes his head. "So you're saying Isla deserves a better father too?"

"She does. And Cheyenne deserves a better brother because I should've told her to go away than come back home. I would hate to be part of the reason of why she is stuck here and even worse to fall in love with an idiot in this town."

…

Cheyenne has just gotten her feet through the front door when her cellphone begins to ring. Grumbling she scours through her purse for the device and gives up looking for it as she pours the bag on the table.

Finding the mobile device, she sees it's Fawn.

"Hello?" She answers.

"I hope you're ready to go out and have some drinks!" Fawn shouts through the phone.

Cheyenne sighs. Tomorrow is her only day off until next week and she decided to pick up hours and do 12 hour shifts. She wants to spend the day in bed and sleep until her next shift. Usually she would be able to muster up some energy, but now she just feels bone tired. "Fawn, I'm really tired."

"Well take a quick power nap and get your ass over to my place," Fawn orders before hanging up.

Cheyenne purses her lips at the phone and knows better to argue or piss off a Trager. Grumbling she shoves the mess she made on the table back in her purse and she finds Neeta coming out of the laundry room.

"You okay sweetie?"

"I'm okay. I was wondering if you could stay extra tonight?"

Neeta nods her head. "I'm used to the late nights. You go have fun. It looks like you need it."

…

After a quick nap, Cheyenne finds her way to Fawn's place. Using her extra key, she walks right through the door and her stomach almost protests at the smell of nicotine. Fawn skips out of her room wearing only her underwear.

"You expecting a booty call?"

Fawn rolls her eyes as she beckons her into her room. Cheyenne immediately spreads across the bed. "So what's the cause of celebration?" Cheyenne asks.

"We're both young and single. It's time to put our Kegels to use." Fawn tells her as she slides on a Bodycon little red dress.

"Why can't we just watch a movie and drink a glass of wine?"

Fawn rolls her eyes. "I'm not at that point in my life yet."

"Well I am." Cheyenne mutters while Fawn disappears into her closest and come back out with a double sequin slip dress. Cheyenne groans. "If I bend over people are going to see my ass."

"That's the point," Fawn says as she wiggles the dress. "Why are you being so grouchy? It's Friday."

Cheyenne bites the retort that she actually as an exhausting job as she sits up from the bed and takes the dress. She doesn't know why she is so crabby to her friend.

Cheyenne stands up and quickly begins removing her clothes. "You're lucky I shaved."

"I hoped you shaved between the legs," Fawn mutters and peeks at her, but then does a double take. "Were you nipples always that dark?"

Cheyenne looks down. Her once light pink nipples were now a dark color. "Well they've been sore lately." She tells her friend.

"Like about to get your period sore?" Fawn inquires.

"Sort o –" Cheyenne freezes at the mention of her period.

"Em?"

"Oh my god," Cheyenne mutters.

"Oh my god, what!" Fawn exclaims.

Cheyenne grabs her purse and rummages for her small calendar and flips through the pages to find when her last period was, which a week before July 4th was. It's almost six weeks. Six weeks since her last period.

"Em, what the fuck is it!"

"I need a pregnancy test." She tells Fawn.

Fawn's eyebrows furrow. Her mouth opens then closes a few times before her hands goes to her hips. "Who in the hell have you been fucking?"

"Fawn!"

"It's a valid fucking question," she replies and then she rummages in her bottom drawer of her nightstand and produces a pack of pregnancy test.

Cheyenne looks at them questionably. "Hey, the best contraceptive is abstinence and I'm not a nun."

Cheyenne doesn't comment on it, but gladly accepts the box and escapes to the bathroom. All she can think is that this is the last thing she needs in her life. A baby was not in her five year plan at all. A baby was barely in the 10 year plan considering her shit luck with men.

Cheyenne doesn't need to read the instruction to the box and immediately pulls down her underwear and pees. Not even waiting for the result of the first one, she grabs the second one and pees again on the stick. She barely has her underwear up when the first test shows her the infamous two blue lines.

"Shit."

A knock comes from the bathroom door. "Cheyenne, are you okay?"

Cheyenne doesn't say anything, but opens the door. Fawn looks at her with open concern before she walks over to the two tests that lie on the counter. The bathroom is encased in silence.

"Let's go to the living room," Fawn says as she scoops the test up. Cheyenne follows her blindly and sits on the couch. She doesn't know what she exactly feels right now. Shocked. . Maybe happy? She doesn't know.

Fawn returns still in her dress, but has a hoodie on now.

"Is it Jax's?" Fawn asks.

Cheyenne looks up at her shocked. "How –"

Fawn shrugs. "He's the only guy you have been hanging out with since you came back." Fawn nibbles on her lips. "You guys didn't use a condom?"

"Please don't rub this in my face," Cheyenne says. She knows for a doctor she is so incredibly stupid. After taking a fresh shower when she got home from the cabin that day, she had drove stealthily to Lodi and picked up Plan B, but apparently Jax's swimmers were determined. She supposes this is karma for getting off birth control.

"Are you guys together?"

"What? No. It…it just happened. It's complicated." Cheyenne stammers.

"You've slept with him more than once?" Fawn says confused.

"It's complicated." Cheyenne repeats.

"Then  _un_ complicate it for me."

"It was before I left for college, okay." Cheyenne tells her. She can't tell her about him being the one to give her her first kiss or even the heated moment after Isla's recital. "And then at the cabin."

"Do you like him?"

"Obviously enough to sleep with him," Cheyenne snaps.

Fawn doesn't take offense instead she decides to drop the bombshell of her best friend fucking Jackson Teller under their noses. "Are you going to keep it?"

"I just found out. I don't know what I'm going to do." Cheyenne tells her as she buries her face in her hands and begins to cry.

…

On Monday, on her break, she made an appointment with Doctor Reed, who easily slides her in. Doctor Reed had been nothing but help since she began her residency. She's also the only doctor she knows she can trust with the news of this surprise pregnancy. Doctor Reed doesn't give away if she is shocked by the pregnancy happening. She's all smiles as she reads over the bloodwork and hovers over her belly with the wand to hear her baby's heartbeat. She had confirmed what she already knew, which was that she was pregnant. About 5 weeks. Her baby is only as big as an apple seed.

After the appointment, Doctor Reed had told her that until the risk of miscarriage decreased that she should lighten her workload especially after revealing the father's history of congenital heart defect. With the rest of her day cleared, she heads over to the pharmacy to pick up her prescriptions.

Even then carrying some of the nutrients for her growing child it seems unreal. She doesn't feel pregnant. On Friday, going out was quickly scrapped and she found herself sitting numb at Fawn's. Saturday and Sunday she was busy at work and thankfully outside of the sore boobs and some fatigue she didn't feel like she was pregnancy. She didn't feel that bond most mothers proclaim they had once discovering they were with child.

Instead, she does her best to avoid thinking about babies as thinking about babies means thinking about the change her life is about to go through. It means thinking about the fact she is carrying Jackson Teller's child.

And since that night in the cabin, she has done her best to avoid being near him. It was too lethal being in such close proximity with him. It was dangerous considering she didn't know her feelings when it came to that man.

And now she is having his goddamn child.

She's carrying her prescriptions and getting ready to head out the door when her attention is caught by a flash of brown and someone taking out groceries out of the basket. She realizes it's Donna Winston and the people in the line are whispering about how she can't even afford her groceries.

It's easy for her to grab the items Donna left on the conveyer belt and purchase them for her. Carrying the plastic bags, she finds Donna stuffing what she could afford in her car.

"Donna!" She shouts.

Donna seems embarrass to see her even more when Cheyenne holds up the two bags of groceries.

"You didn't need to do that." Donna tells her as she eyes the bags.

"It's fine, Donna." She says as she hands them over. "You don't need to feel ashamed."

Donna snorts. "I can't even afford to feed my kids."

Cheyenne knows that Opie has been pulling away as he now has a job at Oswald Lumber chipping wood 12 hours a day even with that union job, it still probably wouldn't make a decent dent in the debt she heard the Winston's were in. "Donna, if you need help just ask –"

"I'm not asking the club." Donna snaps.

"I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say you could ask me."

Donna frowns. "I'm sorry."

"Its okay." Cheyenne tells her.

"Thanks for the help, Em." Donna says and gives her a small smile before she heads back to her car and drives away.

"You didn't need to do that."

Cheyenne jumps and turns around to find Gemma approaching her.

"Plus it seems she wasn't that appreciative of the help." The biker matriarch adds.

"She's just having a tough time. It's understandable."

"It wouldn't be as bad if she didn't turn her back on the club."

Cheyenne eyes Gemma. "Maybe she wanted to prove she didn't need them."

Gemma turns to her. "Well she's going to be sorely disappointed when she realizes Opie needs them."

"Don't you think that's between her and Opie."

"I guess, but Opie is family. He doesn't need any more stress in his life. Are you okay?"

Cheyenne furrows her brows. "Yeah. Why?"

Gemma points to her pharmacy bag.

Cheyenne clutches the prenatal vitamins and for the first time feels like she is going to throw up. Gemma was the last person she needed sniffing around her. And she remembered how Gemma was a hound dog when it came to finding out secrets.

"Yeah. Everything's fine."

Gemma raises an eyebrow.

"But I gotta go and get dinner ready. I'll see you around." Cheyenne tells her as she presses a swift kiss to her cheek not giving the older woman any time to reply.

…

Jax knew it was inevitable that he would find his way back to Lip's and Cheyenne's place. It seemed Cheyenne was doing good in making sure their paths never crossed and he never went out of his way to seek her out as their last conversation ran through his mind. He didn't know what he wanted when it came to Cheyenne. The only thing he could admit was that she just seemed to fit in his life like she always did. But that didn't mean they were destined to be together or some shit.

So he didn't even hesitate when Lip invited him over to bullshit around as they worked on a bike Lip was restoring. Whatever was going on between him and Fawn seemed to have settled and Lip was in a great mood. They were in the middle of talking about Tig's latest disturbing antics he puts the croweaters through when a car begins to pull into the driveway.

Jax realizes it's Cheyenne and he can tell she is not prepared to see him.

She slowly gets out of her car and he can't see her eyes as she has sunglasses on, but he can feel her eyes are scrutinizing him.

"Hey, guys." She greets.

"Hey sis." Lip greets and Jax gives her a small smile.

She looks like she is about to say something else, but she hightails it back into the house.

Lip watches his sister's exit with a frown. "She's been acting weird."

"What do you mean?"

"She's been skittish or she gets these long thousand yard stares almost. Fucking weird. I don't know if it's that time of the month or what. But I don't like it." Lip tells him.

"You haven't asked her about it?"

"No."

Jax almost rolls his eyes.

"If I did I wouldn't even get a straight answer. You know how she is. Beats around the bush."

Jax opens his mouth to say something else, but Lip's alarm on his phone goes off. "Hey, I got to pick up Isla from dance. You hanging around."

Jax knows he shouldn't, but he nods his head.

Lip hops in his SUV as it's much more kid friendly than the bike and pulls out the driveway. Jax stands in the garage for a few minutes before he finds the courage to walk into the house. He finds Cheyenne in the kitchen and looks like she is getting ready to make spaghetti and meatballs. She has changed into some short shorts and an oversized SAMCRO shirt.

He walks more into the kitchen. He grips the back of the barstool at the breakfast bar.

"You've been avoiding me."

"I've been working." She responds not looking at him.

"Look, I didn't mean for this to happen."

"I know." Cheyenne says and he thinks he hears a tremble in her voice.

Jax sighs as he doesn't know exactly what he wants to say, but he knows that he just wants them to get back normal. "Chey, I just –"

"I'm pregnant." She says cutting him off.

Jax doesn't think he heard her right, but she turns around and looks at him. Her eyes have unshed tears and she looks so broken.

His eyes flicker down to her stomach that is still flat and hidden by her shirt. It doesn't need to be said that it's his.

He thinks he is going to pass out and he knows he stumbles over his feet as he leaves the house.

…

Jax is surprised he even made it to his bike without face planting on the floor. Even more that he even is able to get on his bike and drive away from the Henderson household. He knows it was a dick move to just up and leave, but it is a reflex. He needed to get away from that kitchen and Cheyenne. He needed distance to process the fucking bombshell he certainly didn't expect.

Fucking pregnant.

He knows it happened that night at the fucking cabin and he curses himself for being so fucking reckless about not wearing a condom.

He is about to have a fucking kid.

And he has no idea where to go to even process this news. He knows he isn't going to go to his mom with this. Opie is at his new job. Lip is out of the question as his kid will be fatherless.

He's going to be a dad.

Someone was going to depend on him. There was going to be a piece of him and Cheyenne merged together to create this tiny human that would look up to him.  _His child._

Jax heads to his father's grave.

…

"He just left?" Fawn questions over the phone.

"Yeah," Cheyenne says into the phone as she stirs the noodles to the spaghetti she's making. With Lip out with Isla get some new shoes and tights for Isla, she took advantage of the extra time to call her friend.

"What a fucking coward." Fawn growls.

"It is what it is." Cheyenne replies. As what could she really do and she didn't really judge Jax for it. It was some pretty life altering news that neither of them were exactly prepared for. Besides a part of her knows or maybe even accepted that she can raise this baby without Jax.

"What are you going to say to your brother?" Fawn asks.

Cheyenne purses her lips as she doesn't exactly know how her brother is going to react. She knows that she just needs to make sure Jax isn't near as well as guns.

"I don't know. Maybe I can hide it until I start showing."

"And have Gemma on your ass!" Fawn points out.

"I don't know. It's still too early to even begin to think about announcing anyways."

"So you're keeping the baby?"

Cheyenne looks down to her flat stomach and places a hand over her lower abdomen. "Yeah, I am."

…

Jax isn't lost on how now that Cheyenne has slapped him with news of being a father, Lip decides to bring Isla to the lot for the day as he works in the garage as summer vacation is going to end in a few weeks. He watches the father and daughter interact and he wonders if his kid will love him as much as Isla loves her dad. Despite Lip's words or doubts really, the man is a great father. Unlike most men that sat at the table, Lip is the only one who never let club business interfere with his fatherly duties. There were a few times Lip and Clay got into rows about Lip's commitments to the club. However, Lip was quick to fire back that him being a father wasn't hurting his commitment.

Unlike other guys with their ex-wives, who had full custody of their kids they barely saw, Lip is a single father raising his daughter. Sure he has his mom, Fawn, and Neeta, but he didn't let his daughter be passed around to people when he could easily watch her himself.

Jax knows that Isla is Lip's whole world. He knows that Isla thinks the world of her father.

And Jax's thoughts wonder about the baby growing in Cheyenne's stomach. If it will be a boy or girl, but he thinks it will be a boy because it just has to be. He can picture a little boy with a mop of black hair and blue eyes or maybe even grey. He thinks he wants the boy to take after Cheyenne the most with her cute nose and wide smile. The kid certainly needs to inherit Cheyenne's brains. Jax can picture him working on bikes and cars with his son even teaching him how to ride a bike.

He can see him doing all the things his own father and even Clay did with him.

He smiles at the prospect and a warm feeling feels his being.

"Jax!"

His eyes snap up to over his mother, who is scowling at him. "Are you deaf now?"

"What Ma?"

"I just wanted to know if you were okay. You seemed a little daze."

"I'm fine, Ma."

God, he still has to break the news to his mother she is going to be a grandma.

…

Covered in grease, Lip and Isla arrive home with Isla rushing to beat her father to the bathroom. Lip chuckling finds his sister sitting on the couch watching TV still in her PJ shorts and long sleeve shirt. He frowns. His sister isn't one to lounge around in PJs all day.

"You okay, sis?"

Cheyenne nods her head. "Yeah, why?"

"You just seem more tired lately always in the house."

"Lip, I've been working 12 hour shifts." She responds dryly.

"Well maybe you should cut some of those hours." He tells her pointedly.

Her eyes move from the TV to him and she scowls at him. "What are you my dad now?"

"Sue me for trying to show some concern. You don't need to be a bitch about it." He snaps back.

"So am I tired or am I a bitch?" She snarls back.

Lip doesn't even bother with a reply as he heads back to his room. He wonders how in the hell that escalated so fucking quickly and why. He and Cheyenne rarely argued and if they did the argument wasn't over something so trivial.

If anything Lip has learned to concede when it comes to women probably on their period.

…

_A week later_

While she still can, Cheyenne has returned to walking to and from work. However on this night, she severely regrets not taking the car. Her feet ache as they had her be a floater with her working in emergency for half the day and in pediatrics and neonatal for the remaining half. It is mostly tiring considering she is around all those babies knowing that in about 7 months her child would be in one of those cribs.

Biding goodbye to the lady at the front desk and heading to the doors, she freezes in her tracks as she catches sight of Jax out front in front of his bike walking in a circle.

It's been days – almost two weeks – since he has graced her with his presence and they didn't exactly part happily. She was fine with him walking out speechless, but the days that followed she thought she would hear something from him. The very least he could've called and said he needed space.

"Are you alright, Dr. Henderson?" The secretary asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Have a good night."

The sliding doors open and she walks out to where Jax is waiting for her. He pauses when he sees her. She folds her arms across his chest. "What do you want?" She demands.

Jax stuffs his heads in his pockets. His blue eyes stare straight into her grey ones, the eye contact intimate. "I'm trying to make things right. To apologize."

Cheyenne clenches her jaw, but she walks closer to him. "I'm keeping the baby."

Jax nods his head. "I want to be there for you and the kid." He proclaims.

And damn her burgeoning pregnancy hormones. She punches him lightly in the chest before she begins crying.

He easily wraps his arms around her as he holds her tightly. He presses a kiss to her hair. One arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders, his free hand finds a home on her still flat stomach.

…

With summer coming to an end pretty soon, Isla beginning another school year, Cheyenne's return, and him just being at a different place in his life, Lip knows its time.

It's near 8 o'clock and he knows he can't delay this any longer. With the papers stuffed into a yellow envelope, he enters the house. He called her beforehand that he was coming by so he isn't surprised to find the house clean and smells like lemon.

Even more, he's not surprised to find Nina, clean, dressed in skin tight jeans and a white V-Neck tight t-shirt. She even dyed her hair to a more subdue cherry red. He knew this was going to happen. He feels slightly bad he might set her back. But they've been through this many times before and he can't keep doing this to Isla.

"Hey," she greets with a painted red smile.

For a moment he sees the girl he fell in love with. That sparkle of youth she always had. He sees Isla in her smile.

"We need to talk." He says gruffly. He needs to skip the pleasantries as this conversation will be anything but pleasant. He takes a seat at the kitchen table and he follows him.

"Lip, I just wanted to say I'm sorry and I'm really trying to get better. I've been clean for 4 weeks now." She tells him happily.

A part of him wants to retort if she was clean for a month how come she didn't make a move to contact her daughter, but he bites his lip. Because maybe she needs to be clean for a solid chunk of time before trying to find a place back in Isla's life as she was clean for almost a year before she relapsed.

"That's real good, Nina."

She smiles brightly at him. "Yeah, I've been staying away from the old friends. I also have been thinking about going back to school."

He gives her a closed mouth smile. He wonders if it would have ever worked between them. But there is just something broken in Nina that he knows he won't ever be able to fix.

"Nina, I'm happy you're clean and if you want to go back to school, I'll support it," he starts and he can see the happiness in her eyes that will soon be extinguished. "But I'll support it as a friend, the father of your daughter."

Her smile dims. "What are you saying, Lip?"

He pushes the papers he was holding in her direction.

She calmly takes the packet and reads the title paper stating the dissolution of their marriage.

She doesn't scream, cry, plead, or anything. She reads the petition over quietly.

He thinks this is going over to good.

"Did you ever love me, Phillip?" She asks him. Now he can see the unshed tears in her eyes. The fight to keep her composure. He's sure if she was high that there would be a fight about now. Things would be flung at him and nasty words would be said.

He looks at her and for the first time he feels like he can breathe. He can mourn the years he had with her. He stands up and walks over to her and brings her into him. Her face presss into his stomach. He remembers the first time he laid eyes on her when they were 14 at the drive thru Movie Theater she was throwing popcorn at David Hale and his brother. Then he remembers kissing her at 15 as he was smoking a cigarette outside of Lumpy's. She was picking up dinner for her mom and dad and she asked him for a cigarette. He remembers joking about taking the one he had and she leaned in and was the start of a shot gun turned into a heated kiss. But most of all he remembers being 21 sweaty, exhausted, and greasy holding her and Isla, a newborn baby, in his arms. They were happy and in love. Despite how fucking crazy the two of them were, they were a family.

He leans down and presses a kiss to her head. The last kiss he will ever give her. The last time he will ever embrace her and let himself feel something for her other than disgust and hatred.

He answers her question, "I did love you once."


End file.
